He is white, and has a white mans name. Jacob is always a Ginger. He is usually Mormon. He is always the smartest person in the room and lets you know that just by being in his presence. His intellect is so advanced that when he speaks your brain cannot fathom the words that flow from his orifice. He is very good at math and spends his free time in his room either learning Japanese or watching Khan Academy videos. Most people don't speak to Jacob, but when they do, they never forget him.
Woah, Jacob Hatcher, that's Gospel truth!
by Jonathan Robeson September 18, 2019