Jacksonesque
1) - An act of utter self-serving meanness by someone purporting to be doing you a 'favour';
2) - Pertaining to:-
A lie of such staggering scope and proportion that the protagonist often begins to believe it themselves (see 'Munchausen Syndrome by proxy');
A continually-morphing tale involving bizarre range of actors, singers, musicians and scientists and the day he gave them career-assisting help/ advice from which the rest is history;
A state of delusion.
3) - An evening/ lifetime involving the heavy consumption of stella artois, weak spliffs and bags of ribs, punctuated by bouts of furious animalistic masterbation to Asian porn,
limp-dicked attempts to seduce anything with a pulse and no nose, and collapsing into an item of household furniture, followed by a morning of shoe-staring drunken regret;
4) - The mistaken belief that one is of a different ethnicity to one's own, following the slightest contact with a Reggae CD, and talking for the rest of the evening in a poorly-conceived Jamaican patois;
5) - Pertaining to the taking of an unwarranted 'commission' on goods or services (see Jackson Tax;
6) - A System of Education composing of 14 hours per day 365 days per year watching repeats of 'Top Gear' and The Discovery Channel, after which one attains such high states of knowledge and wisdom as to make Confucius piss the bed.
2) - Pertaining to:-
A lie of such staggering scope and proportion that the protagonist often begins to believe it themselves (see 'Munchausen Syndrome by proxy');
A continually-morphing tale involving bizarre range of actors, singers, musicians and scientists and the day he gave them career-assisting help/ advice from which the rest is history;
A state of delusion.
3) - An evening/ lifetime involving the heavy consumption of stella artois, weak spliffs and bags of ribs, punctuated by bouts of furious animalistic masterbation to Asian porn,
limp-dicked attempts to seduce anything with a pulse and no nose, and collapsing into an item of household furniture, followed by a morning of shoe-staring drunken regret;
4) - The mistaken belief that one is of a different ethnicity to one's own, following the slightest contact with a Reggae CD, and talking for the rest of the evening in a poorly-conceived Jamaican patois;
5) - Pertaining to the taking of an unwarranted 'commission' on goods or services (see Jackson Tax;
6) - A System of Education composing of 14 hours per day 365 days per year watching repeats of 'Top Gear' and The Discovery Channel, after which one attains such high states of knowledge and wisdom as to make Confucius piss the bed.
1) - "My friend, this bag of marijuana appears to be underweight, and the bag appears to have been somehow tampered with, yet you are insistant that I give you some in return for your efforts, and that I am being ungrateful. To me, this seems 'Jacksonesque' "
2) - "Steve, your story of how you bumped into Kurt Cobain at a Hole gig in 1992 in Newport, South Wales, spilling his pint in the process, having been bumped into by the Stereophonics on the dance floor and getting involved in a fight with them, seems to me to be rather 'Jacksonesque'".
3) - "He woke up face-down in a pool of his own sick, trousers concertina'd around mid-thigh, and hands sticky with the glutinous residue of Hoi-Sin sauce, and semen. He had had a Jacksonesque evening."
4) - "The Transformation is incredible. One minute he's Cornish-Scottish, but put on 'Natural Mystic' and he instantly takes on the spirit of a long-dead Rasta. He's like a shaman - it's almost Jacksonesque"
5) - "Has this been subject to Jackson Tax? I believe you are acting in a Jacksonesque manner."
6) - "He told me he has to keep his head down for a few days because there's a deal going down. He says he's been working for the Russians. the shit-puppet is jacksonesque. ".
2) - "Steve, your story of how you bumped into Kurt Cobain at a Hole gig in 1992 in Newport, South Wales, spilling his pint in the process, having been bumped into by the Stereophonics on the dance floor and getting involved in a fight with them, seems to me to be rather 'Jacksonesque'".
3) - "He woke up face-down in a pool of his own sick, trousers concertina'd around mid-thigh, and hands sticky with the glutinous residue of Hoi-Sin sauce, and semen. He had had a Jacksonesque evening."
4) - "The Transformation is incredible. One minute he's Cornish-Scottish, but put on 'Natural Mystic' and he instantly takes on the spirit of a long-dead Rasta. He's like a shaman - it's almost Jacksonesque"
5) - "Has this been subject to Jackson Tax? I believe you are acting in a Jacksonesque manner."
6) - "He told me he has to keep his head down for a few days because there's a deal going down. He says he's been working for the Russians. the shit-puppet is jacksonesque. ".
Jacksonesque by bagofspanners November 9, 2009
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