Incognito Mustard Gas
A type of "Silent, But Deadly" fart. This subdivision is classified as vomit inducing and nauseating to those who inhale the toxic fumes. A whiff of this deadly gas has the ability to incapacitate someone and render them unconscious. This classification of fart is only used in extreme cases, when the producer of the fart is the only person aware of the release until the smell reaches its victims. The abbreviation of this, IMG can also be used in conversation.
To provoke this type of fart the following conditions may apply:
1. Consuming too many foods w/ high amounts of carbohydrates
Of the three main nutrients, carbohydrates produce the most gas because sugar and starch easily ferment. Half of us are endowed with bacteria that particularly prefer munching on unprocessed carbohydrates -- unless you are like me, in which case tuna does the trick. As you might have guessed, beans contain more indigestible carbohydrates than most foods.
2. Consuming indigestible foods
Many daily foods are considered "indigestible" -- milk being one of them. Cow milk is unnatural to the human body, which is why a lot of people are lactose intolerant. Lactose intolerance means the body does not know how to digest milk, so it sets it aside as waste. If you happen to have a lot of "gas enzymes" in your system and you are lactose intolerant, milk can make you fart.
To provoke this type of fart the following conditions may apply:
1. Consuming too many foods w/ high amounts of carbohydrates
Of the three main nutrients, carbohydrates produce the most gas because sugar and starch easily ferment. Half of us are endowed with bacteria that particularly prefer munching on unprocessed carbohydrates -- unless you are like me, in which case tuna does the trick. As you might have guessed, beans contain more indigestible carbohydrates than most foods.
2. Consuming indigestible foods
Many daily foods are considered "indigestible" -- milk being one of them. Cow milk is unnatural to the human body, which is why a lot of people are lactose intolerant. Lactose intolerance means the body does not know how to digest milk, so it sets it aside as waste. If you happen to have a lot of "gas enzymes" in your system and you are lactose intolerant, milk can make you fart.
John: Yo, today in class I totally released a cloud of Incognito Mustard Gas.
Max: No way, dude I was trying to pull that off for the last month.
John: You won't believe it someone actually puked all over their desk, some other kid passed out.
Max: Dawg, that's some tight stuff right there. You gotta tell me your secret.
John: No problem let me just eat this can of beans and this whole onion. Gotta keep up the flatulence if you know what I mean.
Max: I always know what you mean, man. Send me some of that though. I totally need to release some of that IMG soon dude. Been holding it in for like a week.
John: DAWGGG.
Max: DAWWG.
Max: No way, dude I was trying to pull that off for the last month.
John: You won't believe it someone actually puked all over their desk, some other kid passed out.
Max: Dawg, that's some tight stuff right there. You gotta tell me your secret.
John: No problem let me just eat this can of beans and this whole onion. Gotta keep up the flatulence if you know what I mean.
Max: I always know what you mean, man. Send me some of that though. I totally need to release some of that IMG soon dude. Been holding it in for like a week.
John: DAWGGG.
Max: DAWWG.
Incognito Mustard Gas by MEEEGAAN December 9, 2013
