Muddy hosepipe

A disastrous event that occurs 2.3446 nights after consuming large quantities of Indian food. (Note: this only occurs after contracting Pink Sock disease.)
"Man, last night I had a bad experience with my Muddy hosepipe."
by The Keg July 09, 2013
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Hosepipe Ban

When you have an argument with a fuck buddy, and prevent him/her from having sex temporarily. Typically ranges from 2-4 weeks, or until the banner gets drunk and horny. Not to be confused with ending a 'friends with benefits' relationship.
"I'm so horny ... but Ray is on a hosepipe ban, so I'm just gonna have to masturbate this weekend"
by Stevie-D April 30, 2012
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Burnley Hosepipe

A pop bottle (normally 2 litre capacity) with a small hole drilled in the lid. When filled with water and squeezed, the resultant jet works like a mini hosepipe for those too pikey to own a real hosepipe.
"Pass us that pop bottle* Maude, the dog's left a nutty truncheon on the step and I need to hose it away."

*Burnley Hosepipe
by Melonheadd June 22, 2011
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The Moldovan Hosepipe

The Moldovan hosepipe usually refers to the novel act of finishing/discharging into a funnel connected to a container or hosepipe, and later reusing this collected substance as a lubricant for later sexual acts. It is thought to have originated in Moldova among the younger population of Bâlti, Moldova's second largest city.
"My friend was talking to me about the Moldovan Hosepipe earlier - I don't know how people get a kick from stuff like that!"
by HumbleContributor July 11, 2025
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