Haunted Sex 

{hawnt-d sekx} noun, 1. Bizarre intercourse using the missionary position where the participant on the bottom, laying on their back with face up, is motionless - virtually catatonic - and absolutely quiet with an blank, eerie expression on their face throughout the entire sexual act 2. intercourse with a coldfish that is mentally uncomfortable and/or disturbing due to the comportment of the coldfish 3. any form of creepy, eery or weird non-fetish sexual activity 4. sex with a ghost, e.g. succubus or incubus

Note: Haunted sex is much more than motionless, lazy sex or zombie sex. There is a definite element of the profoundly disturbed present - something straight out of the Twilight Zone. Furthermore, no one suspects that they are about to experience this type of sex. There are no signs present to indicate that you are in for the truly bizarre (i.e. the potential sex mate appears to be completely normal - for all practical purposes it seems that you are going to get laid and it just might be some great sex).

Very irksome to those of us who have had the mis-fortune of experiencing it.

Last night I had the worst sexual experience of my life with a coldfish. Truly awful - she didn't move and just laid there with an empty expression on her face the whole time. It really sent a shiver up my spine. I'd have been better-off staying at home and choking the chicken.

She's really weird - all your going to get from of her is haunted sex. My advice to you is to not waste your time - unless you're into bizarre sex.

Anna Nicole Smith stated that she had haunted sex with an incubus. She reported that it went up her leg and gave her the best orgasm that she had ever experienced. Plus she wasn't afraid - she liked it. Ms. Smith had problems.

Haunted Sex by Stupid Is As Stupid Does September 19, 2009