Haggurd 

Relating to something wrong. Funny from being wrong and uncorrect. Can be changed into other words such as, hag/hagged/hagged up/haggy/haglicious. Basically a adjective for anything being screwed up to the point where its god damn hilarious.

Look at that hag-bag. That thing is one hagged up haggurd piece of hag.

Haggurd by Andrew Shoot Friggin May 19, 2004

Merle Haggard 

Something tried and true. As good as gold. Reliable.

That knot is a Merle Haggard, it will never come loose.

Merle Haggard by Patrick Roughen October 10, 2007

mad haggard

1) Whenever things get rough beyond all reasonable standards. An expression of an inability to make any headway against the fundamental ridiculousness of a shitty situation.

Pioneered by Adam and Josiah about halfway through a confusing trip in Eugene, OR, it quickly became a useful, though somewhat overused, descriptor for a lot the crap that life throws at you. It also evolved into a universal adjective to directly describe people and things as well as situations. Sometimes shortened to MH.

2) Can be used as a reply to a complaint. In this form it is descriptive, but takes on the additional sense of empathizing with the speaker, while also tacitly admitting that there isn't anything that can be done about the hopelessly fucked up situ.

A: "My shoes are untied, my headphones are all tangled, I can't find my shit, my nose is running and I don't know which way is up. I feel like a bag lady."
J: "Mad haggard, yo!"

"Damn, Roland is really pissing me off with all the bullshit he's making us do. Mad haggard--i'mma quit soon."

"George Bush is mad haggard."

J: "This sucks."
A: "MH."

mad haggard by Adamator November 10, 2008

Haggarday 

The day following a hard Friday (day or night) of drinking or other forms of debauchery, and the participants are looking and feeling haggard. The day preceding Sunday (only if previous conditions apply).

"If we drink too much, tomorrow might make for yet another Haggarday."

"Man, I got way too drunk last night. I'm not looking forward to this Haggarday."

Haggarday by Javier7 October 21, 2008

ted haggard 

Ted Arthur Haggard is an American evangelical preacher. He is also known for having fucked Mike Jones, denying it, then accepting it and subsequently resigning his leadership of the National Association of Evangelicals.

Ted Haggard: I am a deceiver and a liar. The fact is I am guilty of sexual immorality...There is a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I've been warring against it all of my adult life.

Me: You're teh ghey. Both literally and metaphorically.

Ted Haggard: I know...

ted haggard by Rodrigoh! December 11, 2008

Haggard's Law 

The likelihood of a person harboring secret desires to engage in sexual and/or romantic activities with members of the same sex is directly proportional to the frequency and volume of said person's vocalized objections to homosexuality.

Haggard's Law, Ted Haggard, Roy Ashburn, Priests from that Vatican Scandel

Haggard's Law by maxiplatypus March 5, 2010

Haggard Garage

A youtube channel that panders to children who cannot afford to properly modify a vehicle. They are the epitome of ricers, and they have this idea that if they call themselves ricers ironically that they have defused their detractors (the I <3 Haters argument). Their feature vehicle is a pitiful Miata that begs for sweet release from life. Haggard Garage is the physical embodiment of everything that is wrong with young car "enthusiasts" today.

Adult - Why is that Miata making that god awful sound?
Child #1 - Because Haggard Garage they do it for fun.
Child #2 - Because racecar lol XXDDDD Haggard Garage that's why.
Child #3 - I live in Connecticut and want to go to the Haggard Garage meet, but f*ck I'm 11 and don't have a car.

Haggard Garage by swag777 October 13, 2015