Guidance Counselor 

A particularly lame and moronic adult that spends most of the day patronizing unhappy children/teenagers while under the delusion that they are making the world a better place. Except in very rare cases, they usually end up screwing kids more than helping them. Tend to smile too much. Approach with caution.

Mrs McKay, the middle school guidance counselor, smiled at the distraught young boy and, instead of giving him any useful advice, told him to just ignore the kids that threw trash at him on a daily basis. Then she gave him an animal cracker and asked how many guns he had at home.

Guidance Counselor by Nobody Everyman February 26, 2005

Guidance Counselor 

A person employed in the field of Education who drinks a shit load of coffee and pisses off the teachers in his/her school by sitting at his/her desk all day surfing the net, drinking coffee and talking on the phone while they have to deal with 30+ unruly brats all day. Often times this person is a former teacher who had zero classroom control and realized that they could get the best of both worlds (summers off, out the door by 3pm and not have to deal with kids) by going to Graduate School and becoming a Guidance Counselor.

After walking by a classroom of 30 unruly 2nd graders, the Guidance Counselor walked into his office, closed the door, poured himself a cup of coffee, called his girlfriend, logged onto the internet, turned the radio on, leaned back in his chair and said, "this is the life!".

Guidance Counselor by Mort_da_man July 14, 2003

Guidance counselor 

A stupid bitch that you get sent to when the teacher cant deal with you opening your soda "loudly" Often after being sent to the hoe your parents get contacted for no goddamn reason. Often this person makes you suicidal and is a snake. One minute your in her office drinking tea the next shes suspending you for something you didn't do and she has no proof you did it.

Student: so we are all good this was just a misunderstanding
Guidance counselor: Yes ill call your mom just so she can " understand " what happened.

Student: Nothing happened though you even said it yourself.
Guidance counselor: leave my office im trying to work.

Guidance counselor by myschoolisgay April 18, 2019

Guidance Counselor 

(1) A person who's job is to offer emotional support and guidance to the students in any given school district. This person can talk to students when they are having a bad day and help them apply to colleges.

(2) The "School Mom"

I had a period stain on the back of my pants today at school and my guidance counselor was the only one who could make me feel better. She got me get new pants from the lost and found and even let me eat a gogurt in her office till I stopped crying.

Guidance Counselor by SheAteThePlacenta August 31, 2017

underground guidance counselor 

When you a student in high school handout free condoms and possibly literature about safe sex. However the expense is actually being paid by the guidance counsel office (who would get in trouble if they were to hand out free condoms and possibly literature on lgbtttq safe sex).

“I was a underground guidance counselor in high school” said Shelby.
“WTF is that??” asked toriah .
“In high school I would be provided condoms and safe sex pamphlets from the actual guidance counselors in my high school who were scared , that parents would call the school. I would hand the condoms out every Tuesday, and be known as a underground guidance counselor “.

underground guidance counselor by Sprite28 November 4, 2018

guydance counselor 

Someone who advises others on everything dude-related.

A guydance counselor can equally help da male and female members of da human race, in dat he/she can both advise da whiskers-growing specimens on how to treat each other and da ladies in their lives, and also offer helpful suggestions to da child-bearers regarding da best ways to interact wif da testosterone-steeped individuals in their lives.

guydance counselor by QuacksO January 21, 2022