Gradarius
A piece of shit AI artificial learning program to help students learn calculus. Fashioned at Stevens Institute of Technology, but apparently outsourced to Russia according to certain professors and students, this 14 million dollar program will let your perform 1000 calculations per second, and they're all wrong.
The note that came attached in the mail with the 14 million dollar check was "teach calculus", and by God, they've done it. With vague instructions to flat out impossible problems, the School of Innovation has done it again, with simple aesthetic flair. Daylight Savings, which wasn't accounted for in apparently any of the code, causes your assignments to be due an hour earlier, and also allows for the accelerated deterioration of your mental state as your professors simply cannot or will not assist you to solve that one MA 124 problem. In many cases, an email explaining that "Gradarius is broken and will not give me full credit" is enough to pass by on problems which you simply didn't understand anyways.
From MA 121 to 124, Gradarius will be the gentle guiding hand which will shove you off the 14th floor of Howe.
Oh yeah, and it costs $20 a semester, because fuck you.
The note that came attached in the mail with the 14 million dollar check was "teach calculus", and by God, they've done it. With vague instructions to flat out impossible problems, the School of Innovation has done it again, with simple aesthetic flair. Daylight Savings, which wasn't accounted for in apparently any of the code, causes your assignments to be due an hour earlier, and also allows for the accelerated deterioration of your mental state as your professors simply cannot or will not assist you to solve that one MA 124 problem. In many cases, an email explaining that "Gradarius is broken and will not give me full credit" is enough to pass by on problems which you simply didn't understand anyways.
From MA 121 to 124, Gradarius will be the gentle guiding hand which will shove you off the 14th floor of Howe.
Oh yeah, and it costs $20 a semester, because fuck you.
"Oh, did you see ______ wearing that 'Fuck Gradarius' shirt?"
"Yeah, they got it custom. Man, that program is so jank. I wrote 1=2 and it accepted it as 'part of the essential steps toward the solution'".
"Fucking blue check, man".
"Yeah, they got it custom. Man, that program is so jank. I wrote 1=2 and it accepted it as 'part of the essential steps toward the solution'".
"Fucking blue check, man".
Gradarius by Helsinki1674 September 12, 2020
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