Gordons-border

A unit of measurement defining the distance between the legs of a person suffering from Newtons-Berkineau disorder, an affectation of the ambulant limbs. Derived from the middle-english 'Gordynnes-border' the distance maintained between a healthy human being and a leprous dog-fiend under manorial-law.

"Shirley must be a good Gordons-border from Darren and she's still flashing her bacon rolls, the filthy trollop"