Glittersexual
A person whose sexual identity is so complex, unique, and special that they can literally only make love to jars of glitter. Nothing else could possibly understand their supremely sparkly needs. In effect, their needs by virtue of existence outweigh not only the moral majority, but also the minority; those in society who actually have sexuality issues that exist. Thereby, a Glittersexual accomplishes the monumental philosophical feat of re-marginalizing those who actually wish to be understood, rather than misunderstood, as they do, using an otherwise real social justice issue to vie for the coveted postmodern ideal of unassailable special-ness. Their typical philosophy is not concerned with consistency, or even ideas that matter or make sense, but on the contrary, they seek the philosophical position which is as nonsensical as possible, and therefore unique and special enough to justify whatever is necessary to keep showering in tubs of sparkly, new-age self-righteousness.
"If we have to put a label on my sexuality... I guess you could call me a Glittersexual."
"Do you really think you could possibly understand what it's like to be a Glittersexual as a man or a woman? Ugh."
"Do you really think you could possibly understand what it's like to be a Glittersexual as a man or a woman? Ugh."
Glittersexual by thisguyisaguy April 17, 2016
