Fistubate 

Shoving thy fist into thy no'no regions hard and fast.

When I fistubate with myself, I always walk away sore yet complete.

I caught Sally fistubating earlier, and now here knuckles smell repulsive.

Why do Republicans fistubate to each other all of the time. It must get very cyclical watching each other ram fists up their dirty ass's and vagina's all day.

Fistubate by Distributed February 23, 2009

flatubate

The art of masturbating while enveloped in a self inflicted Dutch Oven. Often done on cold, lonely nights when you couldn't even score with the leftover fatties at the pub. After twelve pints of Guinness and 2am Taco Bell, flatubating is an obvious way to regain some dignity after failing to score. The added benefit is that it's cheaper than buying condoms or cologne. You're having sex with someone you already know. And who doesn't enjoy the smell of their own farts?

"Dude, even that fat ugly chick turned me down. I'm gonna load up on Pintos and Cheese, go home and flatubate in my own king size bed."

flatubate by Bugsy McDingle January 11, 2012

fasturbate 

1) the act of masturbating when in a hurry

2) masturbation under time-restrictions

my parents were coming home soon so I had to fasturbate

fasturbate by Chris "KMoney" Mason December 2, 2005

Fisturbator 

An individual that sexually gratifies themselves by self-fisting their own ass. May or may not be performed with a simultaneous wank of the genitals.

Wanking became too mundane for Carl so he turned into a fisturbator to get himself off.

Fisturbator by Eaton Holgoode April 12, 2017

fisturbating 

To masturbate by inserting one's fist into one's own orifice or orifices. Artificial or disembodied fists may also be used. The word is a hybrid of "Fisting", "Masturbating" and "Sophisticated", and as such could be considered a sophisticated form of self-fisting.

"I wouldn't go in there Gavin, Tylah is Fisturbating."

Bryce: "Dan, if you don't sort that shit out my fist will be up your ass"
Dan: "I can fisturbate MYSELF!"

fisturbating by Under Training May 11, 2008

Fasturbate 

When you masturbate really hard to send yourself to sleep.
When you masturbate really hard because you hear a noise from the building you're in but have to finish.

I heard the keys in the door so I fasturbated

Fasturbate by Eboracum December 3, 2014

Fisticated 

When one is constipated then, has someone fist their asshole to pull out the poop.

Girl: Oh honey, not tonight, I'm so constipated!"

Guy: "You just need to be fisticated!"

Fisticated by simmie April 4, 2015