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Euroscum 

Someone from the continent of Europe, often found in the cheapest hostels, dormitories and capsule hotels around the world. As long as this disease is contained within Europe, I don't have a problem with them. But these days the Euroscum choose to infect desirable vacation spots in Asia such as Macau, Goa, Phuket, Jeju Island, or Bali, bringing their cheap sunglasses and smelly suntan lotions everywhere. While the hostel owners and guided tour operators love them, Euroscum are universally despised by wealthy Asians, and even not-so-wealthy Asians.

The Euroscum are the reason you choose to book a fairly expensive hotel so that you don't run into them to exchange those awkward hellos and "Wanna smoke?" sessions. Every single one of them is a nicotine addict chuffing smoke with tar deliberately to shorten other people's lives. They like to extensively talk about politics, cheap hostels, ridesharing deals, and anything that involves spending less money because they're such total cheapskates.

The easiest way to ditch a Euroscum is to make them a suggestion that involves spending money: "Hey, looks like we both have nothing much to do. Let's go shopping at the local mall. I need to buy new clothes and you must upgrade those cheap sunglasses. No one likes them here. This isn't Europe, my friend." Or just tell them that you're allergic to smoking. If you're a non-alcoholic, that should work in your favor.
Friend: "Hey, looks like the hotels in Macau are going to be very expensive for those dates. Do you think we should book a dormitory with shared bathroom? That would be a lot cheaper."

Me: "Noooooooo.....we'll be surrounded by those poverty-stricken Euroscum roommates. I'm travelling to the Macau Casinos for good luck, and I don't want those cheapskates ruining any good vibes we'll have. If you can't find a decent hotel in Macau, try looking for a Hyatt or Marriott in Zhuhai, China. Not very far really. We can hire a daily cab."
Friend: "Yea....anything to keep our distance from the Euroscum."

Me: "So where you're from?"
Euroscum: "I don't really know where I belong. I mean I was born in Belgium, but I have a German citizenship, but I currently live in Spain. I mean I used to live in Spain for twenty years till it got too expensive, so I recently shifted to Romania. And isn't it sweet, right now we're all here in Asia. My long-separated parents are from Czech Republic and Sweden. Do you have a cigarette lighter?"
Me: "Oh you're a Euroscum all right. And no, I don't smoke cigarettes.
Euroscum by Third World Sam November 1, 2023
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