Ed Massage

An intensely relaxing massage given by Ed Crankshaft to his family and friends. When he does it, they sigh in relief. Most notably given when one of his family or friends is stiff or tired at the end of the day. An Ed Massage is very soothing. It often includes the sea foam green lotion known as Edward Ocean. If you want something that won't take a lot of time, don't head for a massage parlor - try an Ed Massage. And remember, Ed Crankshaft sent you!

Pickles: Hey Ed, I'm so sore. Chasing Homer around the garden really took a lot out of me. Its rough being a cat.

Ed: Well, that's no problem. How about an Ed Massage? (he takes a spoonful of the Edward Ocean) Here's comes the massage plane into the hangar! Zoom! (he starts Pickles' fur)

Pam: Oh no, I've been walking all day. Did I see you giving Pickles an Ed Massage? I need one too!

Ed: Okay, easy, easy now. This is going to be good. This is sweet. (he starts rubbing Pam's feet) You poor little chick. Daddy knows what to do.

Ed: (while sitting in front of the bonfire he feels a twinge in his back) Oh no, now I need an Ed Massage. Give me that Edward Ocean, would ya? (he rubs some onto his back) There! That's better. That felt good.

Pam: Do you want me to do all over? I mean, not just your feet, but whole body? I can do that if you want me to.

Ed: Sweet! My whole body feels rough. I haven't had an Ed Massage in days. I just need to warm up is all. Ed Massages rock! One of the best ways to relax after a hard day.

Pickles: Right on! Even an old mudcat like me would love an Ed Massage every now and then. High paw! (Pickles high fives Ed, scratching his hand) Ed Massage forever!

Ed Massage by Dusty's Baby Powder October 26, 2011

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Stinky Bobby

When you find a little guy who is stinky. Usually needs a belly rub.

Hey, that’s Stinky Bobby.

Stinky Bobby by anorlondo June 17, 2026

Word of the Day on July 29, 2026

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Related Words

Ed Massage • -ed • Ed Sheeran • ed hardy • Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy • Ed, Edd n' Eddy • ed edd n eddy • ed Gein • ed head • Ed O'Brien

chud run

A trip to a grocery store, convenience store, or gas station for the sole purpose of buying an excessive amount of junk food and sugary drinks, usually with friends. A chud run often happens late at night and ends with everyone involved hating themselves afterwards.

"Hey bro you tryna go on a chud run with me??"

chud run by chad brandson July 24, 2026

Word of the Day on July 28, 2026

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flophouse

Any house/apartment/frat house/trailer/etc. which is used for individuals to crash (sleep, chill, hang out, lurk, etc.) for a period of time. In order to "crash", one must not actually live there (e.g. have their name on the lease, own said flophouse, etc.). Flophouses are typically used by college students, drug addicts, transients, vagrants, or other unsavory characters.

A flophouse may also be the home owned by the parents of a college student, who after being away at college, wishes to live as if he/she is still at college (e.g. staying out all night, returning just to crash at mom and dad's house, then leaving again), rather than conforming to the pre-college rules.

Example #1
Dude: (Talking to someone passed out face first on the floor of his college apartment) Hey man, who the hell are you? What do you think this is, a flophouse??

Bro: Sorry dude, I must have passed out for a minute.

Example #2
Mom: Where have you BEEN for the last three days? You come home just to sleep?? What do you think this is, a flophouse??!!

Son: What's your problem? I'm an adult now!

flophouse by J3553 November 21, 2007

Word of the Day on July 27, 2026

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Hate Sink

A person you hate intensely not because they deserve such hatred but because they serve as a focus for your general hatred. A healthy way to dispense with excess animosity.

Jake's not really that big an asshole. He just serves as my hate sink.

Hate Sink by The great prophet Zarquon August 7, 2016

Word of the Day on July 26, 2026

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funiosity

The art of being peculiar, but in an amusing fashion.

"Wow, look at that dog running on three legs"
- "Yeah, that sure is a funiosity"

funiosity by Supersonic Stevie November 23, 2007

Word of the Day on July 25, 2026

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Toe Rag

A toe rag was originally a foot wrapping used, since mediaeval times up until the mid-nineteenth century, to protect the foot from chafing by boots or shoes. As these were, quite literally, rags they weren’t usually washed, and so with use they became very smelly until they were thrown away. Because of the similarity in smell, toe rag also became the name applied to dried, salted cod or other things with a strong, unpleasant, fishy smell. It didn’t take that long before the name was applied to someone who was an obnoxious, unpleasant OIC.

1 “Socks! Those aren’t socks you smelly git, they’re toe rags!”
2 “What have you been cooking? Smells like toe rag!”
3 “I can smell ‘er fanny from ‘ere, proper toe rag.”
4 That Heale Malcolm is a right toe rag.

Toe Rag by AKACroatalin November 29, 2016

Word of the Day on July 24, 2026

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