Distortia

A type of neurological condition which causes a distortion in perception. One example is body distortia which causes the person with it to inaccurately perceive their weight or bodily proportions.

My body distortia makes it difficult to tell if I've lost weight.

by Shugunou April 15, 2023

Vagina Distortion Field

Like the notorious reality distortion field (RDF) of Steve Jobs, a Vagina Distortion Field (VDF) affects perception, which thereby alters behavior. When someone is affected by a woman's VDF, every aspect of her being seemingly improves in that person's view. A woman's VDF typically only influences those who have not yet had access to said vagina. Being warped by a VDF is different than being pussy whipped. With the latter, the whipped individual behaves abnormally to maintain access to the pussy, but perception of the vagina owner is not altered. The VDF often has the greatest affect on the owner of the vagina, making her vastly overestimate her worth, influence, and potential.

Spock: "Captain, you are once again risking the lives of the entire crew in the pursuit of some green slag."

Kirk: "Mr. Spock, your libido-less Vulcan logic fails to grasp the enormity of the daily Pon Farr that starship command subjects on a man."

Spock: "Mr. Sulu and Mr. Chekov, move the Enterprise as far as is necessary and raise whatever shield is needed to protect the captain's mind from the insidious Vagina Distortion Field that is destroying his judgement."

Kirk: "Spawwwwwwwwwk!!!"

<cue Kirk fight music>

by Bachelor boB January 17, 2012

distortionist

A less biting, somewhat elegant and mystical sounding term used to describe a practiced liar.

At one time, before his traitorous cognitive decline, the Hitman in Chief was a most prolific and talented distortionist.

by Dr Bunnygirl September 27, 2019

Discordian American Princess

When a Disney Princess creates chaos by showing she's not as pure as people think, she becomes a Discordian American Princess.

It also applies to any teenage girl or young woman who's had a wholesome, clean-cut image that suddenly changes when she does something shocking.

Miley Ray Cyrus showed her smile as a Disney Princess. But her spiritual advisor Reverend Loveshade and photographer Annie Leibovitz changed all that. As soon as she posed naked in a sheet, and posed with her father Billy Ray Cyrus touching her inner thigh, she became a Discordian American Princess!

Also Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, Emily Sander aka Zoey Zane.

by Felicia Barton August 3, 2008

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Everything: Dead

by RickyBobTosun May 5, 2021

discordian

when you are a discordian, you spend your life on discord. you dont know anything from the outside world.

discordian: hey wanna edate?

souljaboyfan123: nah bruh im not a discordian lmaooo

by inda305 June 30, 2020

Discordian Baptism

When a person of higher intelligence is checked into several-day inpatient psychiatric facility. Discordianism is an absurdist religion (or psuedo religion) which reveres the Greek Goddess Eris, the scion of chaos.

"What happened to our theoretical physics professor?"
"He's having his Discordian Baptism in the loony bin."
"Poor guy!"

by Foxnight February 22, 2015