The phrase
hedgehog'
s dilemma refers to the notion that:
(
1) The closer
two beings come to one another in a relationship, the more likely it might be for them to inflict psychological pain on each other
(2) Yet if they remain apart, they each might feel the roughly-equivalent (psychological) pain of loneliness.
This notion comes from the conjecture that hedgehogs, with sharp spines on their backs, might hurt each other if they get too close. It is a character trait believed to be possessed by some individuals, in real life as well as in works of fiction, sometimes causing
anti-social behaviours, often allegedly caused by an unpleasant past experience of intimate relationships. A
person who suffers from the hedgehog'
s dilemma will usually avoid becoming too close or involved with someone, due to
fear of another similar, possibly painful, experience, such as they had experienced in the past.
Porcupines are a better example of the hedgehog'
s dilemma due to their commonly known dangerously sharp spines. As you can
imagine, getting too close to them will provoke them and might
force a few spines in you in self defense.
