Crastibate

When one masturbates while having something better to do.

From the English words:
Procrastinate
Masturbate

Not to be confused with Crasturbate which means to cry while masturbating.

You can't finish Grandma Edna's eulogy if you keep stopping to crastibate, Timmy.

by Mikey Chase March 18, 2013

Crustabate

This occurs when crust seeps out of an individual.

Dan Millahews crustabated on the haters, daily.

by Millahews March 26, 2019

professional crastinator

One who waits until the very last second to do anything, but still gets it done. One who will do anything and everything he/she can to put off work, including writing definitions into the Urban Dictionary. One who procrastinates in every aspect in his or her life.

"What do you do for a living?"
"Well, I'm a Professional Crastinator"
"What's that?"
"Hold on, I'll tell you in a minute."

by Burtrum May 13, 2008

crapstipated

adj : have difficult or incomplete or infrequent evacuation of crap.

adj : you can't crap no matter how hard you try, sometimes only gas comes out

see also fartstipated

That burrito is lodged in my belly and it won't come out, I am crapstipated.

by alibree March 25, 2005

Crastination

Undefined use of time, Free time, Vague outcomes, Doodling, Occupying yourself with tasks unrelated to your purpose, Generally wasting time and other fun pursuits. Procrastination is the work that is done to avoid the work that is supposed to be done. AKA, Saturday mornings. See also Crastination and Procrastination.

Historically, The word arises from the experience where a person becomes a Pro at Crastination by spending hours doing very little, or being off track more than one is on track. With the invention of rubber tires, we realized that tracks don't really matter any more so being off track was no longer a culturally shunned experience. Hence, Pro-Crastination was born.

Saturday mornings, you and I engage in crastination by watching TV rather than vacuuming. We become better and better at crastinating and that is procrastination.

by Yoda-Ninja May 10, 2015

crystipated

Crystipated: a condition common among the working class...when you need to cry...you want to cry...you SHOULD be crying...but you can't. Your eyes may fill up, but tears will not fall. The pain of a regular life has killed your body's only natural outlet of sorrow. Your heart may be cold and dead. Nobody knows this but you.

When Melissa is crystipated for too long, she will lash out in a fit of rage. If she were smart like Roberta, she would watch "Terms of Endearment" or "Steel Magnolias" and have herself a good cry, thus eliminating the threat of rage.

by Jay Squirrel February 15, 2017

pro-crastination

An intense phenomenon. Not simple or lazy - but characterized by a professional aptitude for semi-productive distraction. (aka: productive-procrastination or professional-procrastination)

Harvard kid: "Did you complete that tech paper for Prof Eshion?"
Bill: "Nope, I got distracted building a software company - I might drop out. You in?"

Lucifer: "Hey, Almighty, did you make that new angel I asked for last week?"
God: "I was distracted ... by Creation."
Lucifer: "Now that's Miltonic pro-crastination. Didn't think that was doable. Look at it - it's huge."

by A cambridge Spyo March 30, 2010