The second-phase incarnation of the basic bitch. These are painfully average chicks who just happen to have suspiciously nice hair. Typically holding degrees from random midwestern schools, in shit that doesn't really matter. Their chromatic equivalent would be beige. They're really into Ann Taylor LOFT sweaters, Pinterest, and weddings. You end up marrying them because your parents approve, and there's no good reason not to. Often targeting men of higher economic class, they are essentially the most insidious form of gold digger. Rarely do they have anything nice to say; they are usually inordinately snotty. They'll almost never give blowjobs, and will drag you to couples counseling after discovering your Brazzers account, citing "emotional infidelity."
Jessica is totally a typical Connecticut blonde. She found out Adam got a lap dance at his bachelor party 4 years ago, now she's making him sleep on the couch, and staged an intervention with his mom and sisters to address his "issues." Is she for real?
by nopenothingtoseehere December 3, 2014