Condomentia

Condomentia: full form: condom dementia. (N) A specific state of late-stage cognitive and/or psychological decline that manifests in insane, inaccurate, and dangerous claims, most notably by the Pope, that condoms increase, instead of help prevent, the spread of STDs.

Example: "The Vatican reported today that the Pope's condomentia has worsened considerably in recent weeks, accounting for his outrageous claim that condoms increase the spread of AIDS. They apologize for the inconvenience."

by cayrez March 18, 2009

Condimental Divide

When you and your romantic partner, spouse, family member, or friend share opposing, strong opinions about a specific condiment, such as ketchup/catsup or mayonnaise.
-As coined by Mark Garrison on the podcast "The Sporkful".

Person 1: "You like Miracle Whip? Gross!"
Person 2: "No, mayo is gross; Miracle Whip is good."
Person 1: "We can't hang out anymore. I can't get over the Condimental Divide."

Person 1: "I dumped my girlfriend because she put ketchup on her hot dog. That's just WRONG!"
Person 2: "Another relationship destroyed by the Condimental Divide."

by JRadimus April 10, 2011

condoments

Sometimes referred to as flavoured lubricants, condoments are designed to add a twist to sex play. Many condoments are marketed as "low calorie" and "sugar free" and come in a variety of flavours or additives to increase or decrease sensation during sexual activities.

Condoments can make oral sex more pleasant, especially when using condoms which can leave a bad taste in one's mouth. It is important to note that if using latex prophylactics, oil-based condoments can cause a regular latex condom to break so be certain that the condoment of choice is water based.

Samantha: "My boyfriend always expects blowjobs and I want to make him feel good, but I just don't like the taste..."

Tracy: "I've got a bunch of condoments, you can have my bottle of vanilla bliss if you want, I only use the wet watermelon one..."

by Sunshyne Lollipops February 3, 2010

Condementimacy

A close attachment to rarely used condements found in the fridge that the owner has a hard time throwing out. Often related to black lid syndrome.

"Will I ever eat this mango chutney? yes. I might...Do I need 2 openned jars of grainny dijon? Maybe. Is that fur on the red pepper jelly? Will my condementimacy get in the way of a meaningful lunch?"

by mo-yo December 29, 2006

condimental

To over-estimate how many condiments such as salt, pepper, hot sauce or ketchup packets you needed to bring back with you to your table while dining at a fast food restaurant.

When grabbing way too many self-serve condiments, you become a mix of the words "condiment" and "mental".

Will: "Do we really need this many salt packets?"
Benjamin: "Sorry dude, I went a little bit condimental."

by Joey L dot com April 21, 2009

condimentia

When you can't remember if you have a condiment every time you go to the store, resulting in many duplicate bottles of several condiments.

While putting groceries away, Patty noticed we already had 4 other bottles of Miracle Whip. "Damn, my condimentia is really getting bad."

by 85cyclone April 17, 2016

condimental drift

The slow but steady movement of all available condiments whereby they all come to rest in front of one person at the table

Sis: Dad, why did the mustard, relish, horseradish, and barbecue sauce all end up in front of you?

Me: Haven't you ever heard of "condimental drift"?

by cyanocitta November 6, 2007