Canine Dysfunction

Mental condition wherein human beings see other human beings as filthy animals while seeing dogs as their brothers, sisters, or, most often, children. Condition may cause said persons to do the following:

- become filled with outrage when a dog is killed, even accidentally; however, when humans are killed or abused, they turn a blind eye to it.

- bring their dogs into restaurants and supermarkets and become outraged when told that their pet doesn't belong there, insisting it is "a member of their family" and that the store is discriminating against them.

- pay thousands of dollars for their pets to have treatments for cancer, but bemoan human beings "running up huge hopsital bills for their family" when trying to survive cancer.

- make hilarious statements such as "I would rather heaven was full of dogs than people," not realizing that such would mean they wouldn't be there, either.

- feed their dog from their dinner table and even let the dog take stuff right off of their plate, but get mad if someone "breaches protocol" by eating with their fingers or putting their elbows on the table.

It is important to note that Canine Dysfunction is not limited to dog owners, but can also affect the owners of any other type of house pet, both common and uncommon, in a similar fashion with regard to their animal of choice.

Some woman with canine dysfunction was carrying her poodle around the grocery store and made a huge scene when she was told that only Seeing-Eye Dogs were allowed in the store. It only got more awkward when she declared that she and her "child" were leaving and would be talking to a lawyer about a discrimination suit.

Canine Dysfunction by JustAnotherGuy October 16, 2012