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better than a slap in the belly with a wet fish

better than it could be
Complainer: This movie/pizza/vacation sucks!

Responder: It's better than a slap in the belly with a wet fish!

bully beater upper 

bully beater upper by Dbrey August 4, 2014

bitter bill 

An older man, constantly whining and complaining (to anyone who will listen) about his long-lost youth. Constantly hangs around with the younger crowd and observes with resentment. This phase often precedes or coincides with midlife crisis.

Note: It is best to avoid a bitter bill in social situations, especially when alcohol is added to the mix.
"I avoid going to bars during happy hour, because at that time of day, it's usually just a bunch of bitter bills looking for young tail."
bitter bill by CrackInTheBox August 4, 2005