Similar to arachnophobia or acrophobia, barackophobia is the strong, irrational, overwhelming fear of Barack Obama. Sufferers experience a wide variety of symptoms, such as sweating, jumpiness, trembling, anxiety, shitting their pants, accidentally jizzing their pants without warning, hallucinations, sudden cardiac arrest, depression, insomnia, strokes and not being able to control when or where they fart. Although people disliking Obama is common, it becomes a phobia when one purposefully avoids watching the news out of fear for seeing Obama. There is, sadly, no known cure to barackophobia. Sufferers are often times prescribed medical marijuana, but that does not 'cure' barackophobia. There is still much for my team of advanced researchers and I to discover about this puzzling mental condition. Perhaps, one day, we will cure this terrible condition so sufferers can live a comfortable, normal life again.
"Did you see the video where Barack Obama touched dicks with Mitt Romney, bro?"
"No, I didn't, man. I already told you that I have barackophobia."
"No, I didn't, man. I already told you that I have barackophobia."
by McFloppycock June 29, 2015