Assbark forms in a pair of underwear where layer upon layer of skidmarks have been built up until it resembles the approximate color and texture of bark.
"My wife still throws up every time she has to scrape the assbark off my shorts."
A derogatory term based on the term asshat, but used with a higher severity for those who exemplify ass<clothing item>ness. Use sparingly.
This term is currently being trademarked by Xplotos of Deathwing. Please cite him in a bibliography after the insult. MLA or Chicago format only.
Gigan: i am trying to clarify a few standard measurements. From what I understand, an assload is greater than a shitton, but less than a bloodninja-supremus-death count. Thus bsd > assload > shitton.
Xplotos: YOU SIR, ARE AN ASSPARKA.