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Army tool 

ARMY TOOLS 101:
This label should apply to those who become institutionalized by the military. The long-term, or 'career' soldiers are generally those who have no direction in life and would otherwise FAIL in the REAL WORLD, so they join the military for a steady paycheck and/or structure/guidance in their lives, which the military provides through various courses, manuals, and mundane speeches, WHICH said ARMY TOOLS memorize bits and pieces of, for their own future speeches and spot corrections. Once these soldiers become NCO's, they generally do not have a clear understanding of their responsibilities nor how to act like DECENT human beings, so they revert to exerting their newly acquired power by less than decent means.

These soldiers can be found in administrative type jobs, where petty office politics prevail. The TOOL can be found driving his vehicle around post in search of lesser-ranking soldiers that they can 'correct' in proper wear of uniform, thus making the TOOL feel like he is "meeting the needs of the army and national defense". Another way to spot an ARMY TOOL is to listen for those who complain by 'legitimizing' their particular gripe by comparing it to an army regulation INFRACTION.
Army tool by terminalsoup January 8, 2010
Urban Dictionary Merch

Army tool 

Someone Who has been homeschooled all their life. When the time come for them to apply for college, they have no guidance counselors, and every school they apply for requires painfull, unreasonable measures for those homeschoolers applying. Thus making the only option for the homeschooler to get an education is to join the military. Making them an "Army Tool".
Homeschooler: Dude this Sucks, I can't find a college that'll accept me.
Friend 1: Why?
Homeschooler: Cus I'm F***in Homeschooled! Now I have no choice but to join the Army.
Freind 1: Dude life Sucks for Jake.
Freind 2: Why?
Freind 1: He can't get into college cus he's Homeschooled.
Freind 2: Damn that Sucks. What an Army Tool.
Army tool by mm08 February 7, 2008

tool army 

The fan club for the band Tool (which is probably by far the greatest band i've ever listened to).
"Are you a member of the Tool Army?? WE WANT YOU!"
tool army by benanner April 18, 2007

Tool Army 

A fan club for the band "Tool". The Tool Army is a hilarious money making scheme, which the "Tools" don't understand. These individuals walk around in shirts that say "Tool" in large letters, failing to understand Maynard's love/hate affair with consumer culture.

The Tool Army costs 30$ or more and the buyer gets "keychains and certificates" and still gets mad when they take a long time to come in the mail.

Tool is an amazing band. It has retarded fans.
"hey man, I joined the tool army!" - Idiot 1

"Haha, you Tool. You probably actually like Puscifer too, don't you?" - Me, Smart guy.

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, even Maynard says it is shit and for people who don't think. Enjoy."
Tool Army by BenZe November 12, 2012
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Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.

Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.

Modified derivative of granola.
"I need more crunchy guys in my life. I'm so tired of dating preppy metrosexual assholes."

"I'm heading out to the crunchy store to pick up some fair trade chocolate and tea tree oil, do you need anything?"
crunchy by EBC July 11, 2007
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murderhobo 

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Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.
murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021
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Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.
"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."
Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020
Word of the Day on September 21, 2026

Concrete cowboy 

A guy who thinks he's a country kinda guy, but in reality lives a comfortable city / suburban life.
Eugene: Look at that dude in the cowboy hat!
Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.
Word of the Day on September 20, 2026
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