Amtrak'd 

Being refused boarding onto an Amtrak train by an Amtrak Policeman (Glorified Security Guard) who only became an Amtrak cop because he lacked the balls to be a real cop and confront real criminals and who just barely missed the cut at the very highly selective Greensboro Shopping Center Security Force because he had no previous training driving a golf cart with a yellow light on top. And that refusal is because Amtrak scheduled a 4 am departure time so you decided to take a nap in your car while you await the arrival of your train. Upon finding you napping on Amtrak property in your own vehicle, the Amtrak Policeman uses his superior detective skills to asses the situation, and after realizing the threat of the sleeping passenger in front of him takes no chances and calls the REAL police, who promptly show up to takeover the highly dangerous situation. The delay causes you to miss your train and the Greensboro police department offers to buy you breakfast for your trouble. The Amtrak Policeman was given a commendation for his superior police work at Amtrak's Greensboro station parking garage. However, even with the commendation teh officer again failed to make the cut for a position on the security force at the Greensboro Shopping Center.

For abosilutely no intelligent or logical reason, Officer Wannabe of teh AMtrak police force detained Jay causing him to miss his train that comes through town once a day. When asked by the real police why he did that, Officer Wannabe replied "I Amtrak'd his ass."

Amtrak'd by Pattty Hostin April 18, 2008

amtrak dump 

When a single trip to the bathroom calls for an "OUT OF ORDER" sign.

Riding home on the train from Chicago, I needed to take a massive shit. Due to an massive unflushable load/amtrak dump, the bathroom on the train was put OUT OF ORDER.

amtrak dump by milwaukee john January 4, 2007

Amtrak Dick

When one's penis is not at full erection and it bends in half when insertion is attempted during a sexual encounter, like a train wreck. Usually the result of nervousness, over intoxication, lack of viagra, or other reasons unknown.

Yo bro, Last night, after drinking 12 pabst blues at your double wide, I amtrak dicked off that chicks labia 4 times before she finally called me out. She all like piece out, don't forget your shoes.

Dude, I had Amtrak Dick so bad last night, there were no survivors.

Amtrak Dick by kungfumermaid June 10, 2015