Assing the Lobster

The sadomasochistic act of inserting a live lobster into one's anus, prior to anal intercourse.

The aim of "Assing the Lobster" is for the penetrator to achieve orgasm without having their penis irreparably mutilated by the increasingly agitated lobster that is residing the host's rectum.

This incredibly reckless sexual act usually ends up with the host dying of internal haemorrhaging and the partner severely injured and mentally scarred. The lobster is generally indifferent once released from the host's devastated bunghole. 100% Would. Not. recommended.

"Karen made me play assing the lobster last night. My cock looks like fucking slinky now."

"Jeez, man. Fuck Karen!" ...

"That was the problem! At least she's dead now"

by zoidburg_is_not_a_fan September 18, 2019

Hairy Red Lobster

When a guy whips out his junk as he jumps off a diving board.

Dude, see those chicks over there on the other side of the pool? I'll bet you 20 bucks you won't show em your hairy red lobster.

by Hairy Red Lobster February 12, 2021

Fuck a Lobster

To smoke grass, that good good, dank, weed ect..

The act of consuming Marijuana.

Hey! Wanna come over and fuck a lobster?
I'm about to step outside to fuck this lobster, any one want to join?

by Mr.JohnsonsHorse October 2, 2022

The old lobster claw

When your shrimp doesn’t cut it, so you give her the old lobster claw 4 in the puss one in the ass.

Yeah man my new girl hates shrimp.

Well good thing you can still give her the old lobster claw

by StonedAF October 13, 2023

Pasta and lobster

Used to express your love, appreciation, and attraction for good white men.

“I love pasta and lobster” “Where is my pasta and lobster” “She got her pasta and lobster” “Pasta and lobster…sprinkle sprinkle”

by BubbleGumGirl_ December 10, 2023

The Red Lobster Dream

The Red Lobster Dream is an extremely significant sign that the Red Lobster has visited you at night. You and the other person in the Red Lobster Dream have been caught in the claws of the Red Lobster's curse.

"I had a dream we were at Red Lobster together"
"Fuck that's the Red Lobster Dream"

by GrunglePuss January 11, 2024

Bathtub in a Lobster

Not unlike "The Lobster", in that one is performing "The Shocker" with two different women at the same time, only with three people.

This sex act is performed by three women with the hands of each of the other two performing the "The Shocker" simultaneously with in them.

Thumb wrestling around the clit, six fingers in ones vagina and two in ones ass, everyones hands are busy.

Last time we were at a girl pile we orgasmed super hard from the "Bathtub in a Lobster", I knew it was true love as we held hands inside of our other lover, but I lost my ring for a while.

by D'jisorderly March 31, 2024