“I got fired and now I have to shill for the conservatives so I don’t have to be a slave like the rest of the peasants 😢” ~ Fine one “classical liberal” who doesn’t have this exact backstory.... Go ahead.... I’ll wait... I actually DARE you to find a single one that doesn’t have this backstory. Classical liberals are the “Vindicators” of modern society.
Hym “Hey, Classical liberal... what do you believe?”
Classical liberal “Well, I believe whatever I need to believe to wield my grotesquely limited skill set against the populous...”
Hym “But what do you REALLY believe?”
Classical liberal “wHaT dO yOu mEaN bY bElIeVe!?!?!?”
Hym “Tsssk 🤦 ♂️.... Jesus Christ... Yeah... I see why you were fired... Ok. Hold on... Ok, I just started a business. You’re officially my first employee.”
Classical liberal “No thanks I...”
Hym “You’re fired.... Aw God, yeah...That’s better. Sorry but it’s almost impossible to NOT fire someone as tedious as you, I mean, holy shit! 😩 That feels so much better!”
Classical liberal “Iam! Please you have to hire me I’ll say whatever you want! 😭”
Iam “Wha... I... I don’t own a business. What are you... You didn’t even want the job! Stop... You're getting snot on me...”
Classical Liberal “PLEASE!!” 😭
Iam “I... I don’t know what to do here... You got fired by Hym so now you’re groveling at my feet for a job because... I’m the opposite? You don’t have to... I think he’s doing a bit... Are... Are you a part of the bit? I don’t understand what’s happening here...”
Hym “He can’t help it Iam... It’s in his nature. You have to hire him. If you don’t he’ll have to be like everyone else and work for his money! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!”
Classical liberal “Well, I believe whatever I need to believe to wield my grotesquely limited skill set against the populous...”
Hym “But what do you REALLY believe?”
Classical liberal “wHaT dO yOu mEaN bY bElIeVe!?!?!?”
Hym “Tsssk 🤦 ♂️.... Jesus Christ... Yeah... I see why you were fired... Ok. Hold on... Ok, I just started a business. You’re officially my first employee.”
Classical liberal “No thanks I...”
Hym “You’re fired.... Aw God, yeah...That’s better. Sorry but it’s almost impossible to NOT fire someone as tedious as you, I mean, holy shit! 😩 That feels so much better!”
Classical liberal “Iam! Please you have to hire me I’ll say whatever you want! 😭”
Iam “Wha... I... I don’t own a business. What are you... You didn’t even want the job! Stop... You're getting snot on me...”
Classical Liberal “PLEASE!!” 😭
Iam “I... I don’t know what to do here... You got fired by Hym so now you’re groveling at my feet for a job because... I’m the opposite? You don’t have to... I think he’s doing a bit... Are... Are you a part of the bit? I don’t understand what’s happening here...”
Hym “He can’t help it Iam... It’s in his nature. You have to hire him. If you don’t he’ll have to be like everyone else and work for his money! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!”
by Hym Iam November 23, 2022
Get the Classical liberalmug. A small, light blue, round hedgehog that has the ability to run at the speed of sound and is known as the mascot of Sega. He's also a pretty cute boy, never failing to make someone go aww. Classic Sonic is probably the bean of the Sonics, having lots of cute fanart. People don't mind him being muted, as he will still be called adorable. I adore him so much.
Person 1: "Hey who's that hedgehog over there?"
Person 2: "That's the well-known Classic Sonic!"
Person 1: "Aww, he looks cute!"
Person 2: "That's the well-known Classic Sonic!"
Person 1: "Aww, he looks cute!"
by Lex_the_Something July 8, 2020
Get the Classic Sonicmug. 
by WaterfallSTUNT October 24, 2017
Get the Classic Volcomug. An intensely manly film that would be served well with an indefinably large quantity of bbq sauce covered meat at a manly gathering.
by baconarray April 8, 2010
Get the man night classicmug. A more refined form of argumentation from simpler times. Unlike modern argument, where one party seeks to assert emotional dominance over the other through the employment of manipulative tactics, classical argument involves the pure exchange of information and growth of one's own understanding of the world. The outcome of a classical argument is the mutual growth of logical fluency, where both parties are able to recognize flaws in their own reasoning and leave with an improved philosophical maturity.
"We had a classical argument about the nature of free will in my philosophy class yesterday. It was super informative and really fun!"
by Inlovewithabsol January 23, 2023
Get the Classical argumentmug. When you chat sooo much shit to a random guy on Instagram and proceed to lose and so play it off like it was your cousin playing and proceed to 1v1 again but do worse than your cousin.
by One Pump Whillip August 6, 2020
Get the The Jam Classicmug.