A phrase dating back to ancient times and used by many cultures, meaning that one often releases a fart before pooping. Most frequently used as a warning to young children who still sometimes poop in their pants.
Ancient Mayan child: *farts*
Ancient Mayan father: “Son, heed this papyrus. It was left by our ancestors to warn us that a fart comes before the storm. You must seek a toilet before it is too late.”
Ancient Mayan child: *doesn’t listen; shits his pants*
Pilgrim child: *farts*
Pilgrim mother: “As the good lord has taught us, child, a fart comes before the storm. You must seek out a toilet before you soil your pantaloons.”
Pilgrim child: *doesn’t listen; shits his pants*
Modern child: *farts*
Modern father: “Seek out and sit upon thy toilet, young one, lest ye fill your britches with turd of brown. For as the Bard once wrote, a fart cometh before thy storm.”
Modern mother: “You’re gonna make him weird if you keep talking to him like that.”
Modern child: *exits the room to find a toilet* “Just kidding!” *doesn’t listen; shits his pants*
Ancient Mayan father: “Son, heed this papyrus. It was left by our ancestors to warn us that a fart comes before the storm. You must seek a toilet before it is too late.”
Ancient Mayan child: *doesn’t listen; shits his pants*
Pilgrim child: *farts*
Pilgrim mother: “As the good lord has taught us, child, a fart comes before the storm. You must seek out a toilet before you soil your pantaloons.”
Pilgrim child: *doesn’t listen; shits his pants*
Modern child: *farts*
Modern father: “Seek out and sit upon thy toilet, young one, lest ye fill your britches with turd of brown. For as the Bard once wrote, a fart cometh before thy storm.”
Modern mother: “You’re gonna make him weird if you keep talking to him like that.”
Modern child: *exits the room to find a toilet* “Just kidding!” *doesn’t listen; shits his pants*
by CountOlaf69 July 14, 2024
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Get the I've played these games before mug.by kristen126 July 28, 2023
Get the Hello, friends, I want to know something I didn't know before mug.(n.) The time during a woman's first pregnancy during which nobody talks about the baby or being pregnant for maybe 2 seconds. This calm, almost eerie silence, usually occurring early in the 3rd trimester, is soon shattered by childbirth and the spirit-crushing, torrential shit storm that follows.
See Also: That part in "Deep Blue Sea" when people start getting eaten, but Samuel L. Jackson and the rest of the survivors find a minute to collect themselves and make an escape plan, and Samuel L. Jackson is giving a speech about how they have to unite to escape the genetically-mutated, super-intelligent sharks, but then, suddenly, one of the aforementioned genetically-mutated, super-intelligent sharks jumps out of the water and bites him in half.
See Also: That part in "Deep Blue Sea" when people start getting eaten, but Samuel L. Jackson and the rest of the survivors find a minute to collect themselves and make an escape plan, and Samuel L. Jackson is giving a speech about how they have to unite to escape the genetically-mutated, super-intelligent sharks, but then, suddenly, one of the aforementioned genetically-mutated, super-intelligent sharks jumps out of the water and bites him in half.
Though it seemed for the time being that everybody had stopped speculating about his unborn child's future athletic prowess, physical attributes, and the huge amount of responsibility it takes to raise a child, the man was not fooled.
He knew that it was just the calm before the stork.
He knew that it was just the calm before the stork.
by Consopite June 9, 2011
Get the Calm Before the Stork mug.The total bu**s**t "comparison of status/condition" images that supposedly show how much someone/something has been improved by your advertised products/services/philosophies. Often the "after" photos will have been re-touched to make the "result" look far better than it actually was, or the two sets of photos have merely been "switched" --- i.e., the "before" photos are actually of the deplorable/decrepit way that the person/object **presently looks**, and the "after" photos show how the person/object looked BEFORE you started messing around with your precious quackola "treatments" or "improvements"... in other words, the situation is EVEN WORSE OFF NOW THAT YOU'VE PRACTICED YOUR ADVERTISED TREATMENT, NOT BETTER!!!
This advertisement's "before and after" photos of people who were supposedly helped immensely by this fad diet certainly do look impressive at first glance, but I can't help observing that many of the people look noticeably **older** in the "before" photos... interesting...
by QuacksO November 11, 2018
Get the "before and after" photos mug.Dave: Did you run that family of four over with my car on the 15 of october 2023 at 3pm before dumping their bodies in the nearby lake?
BOB:I did not run that family of four over with my car on the 15 of october 2023 at 3pm before dumping their bodies in the nearby lake
BOB:I did not run that family of four over with my car on the 15 of october 2023 at 3pm before dumping their bodies in the nearby lake
by chimp that can talk December 18, 2024
Get the i did not run that family of four over with my car on the 15 of october 2023 at 3pm before dumping their bodies in the nearby lake mug.