Definition:
A broke, balding, middle-aged man with a superiority complex and zero self-awareness. He’s got a wife he resents, kids he ignores, bills he doesn’t pay — and yet somehow believes 22-year-olds are waiting to DM him first. Lives off others but calls himself "misunderstood." Sends horny texts like he’s auditioning for a sex cult no one asked for. Thinks being horny = having value.
Signature Behaviors:
Slides into DMs with “hey beautiful 😏” like it’s still 2006
Claims to be “deep” while emotionally abusing everyone around him
Uses his wife's EBT card to buy Red Bulls
Gets mad when women don’t flirt back
Believes showering is optional but sex is a right
Known Aliases:
Fernando, Lonnie, Lon, Alfredo, Alfonso, Matt, Alan, Aaron, Reggie
(If he has two Facebook accounts, run.)
Symptoms Include:
Thinking his penis still has a fan base
Calling himself “real” while gaslighting you
Bragging about sex he’s not having
Fearing accountability more than jail
How to Treat:
Block, delete, heal. Then write about it so others don’t fall for it.
A broke, balding, middle-aged man with a superiority complex and zero self-awareness. He’s got a wife he resents, kids he ignores, bills he doesn’t pay — and yet somehow believes 22-year-olds are waiting to DM him first. Lives off others but calls himself "misunderstood." Sends horny texts like he’s auditioning for a sex cult no one asked for. Thinks being horny = having value.
Signature Behaviors:
Slides into DMs with “hey beautiful 😏” like it’s still 2006
Claims to be “deep” while emotionally abusing everyone around him
Uses his wife's EBT card to buy Red Bulls
Gets mad when women don’t flirt back
Believes showering is optional but sex is a right
Known Aliases:
Fernando, Lonnie, Lon, Alfredo, Alfonso, Matt, Alan, Aaron, Reggie
(If he has two Facebook accounts, run.)
Symptoms Include:
Thinking his penis still has a fan base
Calling himself “real” while gaslighting you
Bragging about sex he’s not having
Fearing accountability more than jail
How to Treat:
Block, delete, heal. Then write about it so others don’t fall for it.
“He’s not just a deadbeat — he’s a Creep Creeping Past Expiration.”
“He’s a creep creeping past expiration — too old to be doing this, too pathetic to stop.”
“Creep creeping past expiration — like spoiled milk that thinks it’s still got charm.”
“He’s not aging gracefully — he’s creep-creeping past expiration like an old sandwich someone forgot in the sun.”
“He’s a creep creeping past expiration — too old to be doing this, too pathetic to stop.”
“Creep creeping past expiration — like spoiled milk that thinks it’s still got charm.”
“He’s not aging gracefully — he’s creep-creeping past expiration like an old sandwich someone forgot in the sun.”
by Roxx Farron June 6, 2025
Get the Creep Creeping Past Expirationmug. by Snow Biscuit April 18, 2024
Get the Creep Seatsmug. When you cruise around a party, wedding, nightclub, etc. scoping out the ladies from a safe distance with the intent to eventually approach and hit on. Short for "Creep Riding"
Kyle: Dude, Jose is Creep Ridin on those girls
Edwin: At least he's not just creepin on them
Marcus: GRIMACE!
Edwin: At least he's not just creepin on them
Marcus: GRIMACE!
by C Ridah January 18, 2009
Get the Creep Ridinmug. The group decided that flash mobs were too overdone, so they performed a surface creep across the cafeteria floor and tables.
by soilscienceguy November 30, 2017
Get the surface creepmug. by Lick.My.Dick August 16, 2018
Get the Creep Nightmug. by Wheelburra May 6, 2021
Get the Creeping Deathmug. A situation where gradual progress in a fetid or unwanted romantic process, initially following a consistent and foreseeable path. Making gradual and often unnoticed movement leading towards sometimes unwanted bedroom attention, including but not limited to, special trouser kisses.
My husbands hand performed a linear progress creep last night when he came home drunk at 2am and I was trying to sleep in bed.
by Acellertnac November 22, 2023
Get the Linear Progress Creepmug.