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Mormon handshake

1. Giving someone a handshake right after having sex without washing your hands.

2. When you’re right in the middle of having some nasty ass sex with your beautiful girlfriend when you suddenly hear a knock on the door. She is moaning loud, You’re both dripping in sweat, hair is a wreck, the room is hot and smelling like sex. She’s still lying on the couch naked, sexy and covered in sweat. She grabs a blanket to cover herself. You jump up and quickly put your shorts on and run to the door. You’re greeted by 2 nice young boys dressed in white shirts and ties who ask if you would like to hear more about our lord and savior Jesus Christ. You nicely decline and reach out your hand for a friendly handshake, completely forgetting that only moments ago your fingers were just deep inside your girlfriends wet pussy.
Dude, my hand smells like sex I think that guy just gave me a Mormon handshake.
by StarGirl;) June 26, 2022
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Mormon Rimjob

The act of licking the edge of the opening of another person’s nostril for the purpose of sexual gratification
“Man, Susannah and I totally made out last night
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, she even gave me a Mormon rimjob.”
“Nice, brother.”
by TeaPartyMonster September 9, 2021
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Mormon Relief Society

Mormon women. Click-ish, horrible women who act “Christ-like” to your face and gossip behind your back. The Mormon version of a succubus, so no physical touch or any companionship, just friendly enough to extract information from you to report negative news to the “leadership” of the branch or ward, which they turn around and use as Mormon blackmail, insisting that you must do as they say or else face outer darkness.
A: Is the Mormon relief society doing anything to combat poverty?

B: fuck no
by Rabbitfox February 21, 2021
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Mormon cocaine

Mormon cocaine:sugar,specifically white crystalline "table sugar" and similar inverted sugars or sugar adjacent sweeteners.
Eg Lemme get a cup of postum wit a s much of that mornon cocaine you can gimme eg met up with some elders for a church potluck and got the jitters from that frog eye salad,ambrosia mormon cocaine diet.
by Boston blackie December 13, 2024
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The Book of Mormon

...it's a musical. THAT'S ALL I KNOW CALM DOWN
1: "YO, do you like the Book of Mormon?"
2: "mf, are you a mormon?"
1: "...no it's a musical"
2: "Wha-"
1: "TURN IT OOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFF LIKE A LIGHT SWITCH ON HOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLL-"
by yo...danganronpa June 12, 2023
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mormon chicken burgers

"Hey Valen, lets get some Mormon Chicken Burgers!" exclaimed Daniel
by dfriemark February 15, 2019
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mormon internet

when a mormon’s internet lags while gaming
*mormon lags in game*

mormon’s friends : MORMON INTERNET
by conr__ November 14, 2025
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