severna park

This is a town that naturally has white people. It has a population of over 40,000 but only has 5 black people.

-Hey, you know that one town, severna park?
-Ah yes, that white one

by alex0803 February 16, 2020

Severna Park

Once a bastion of waterfront snobs and power-hungry professionals with seemingly endless streams of income from unknown yet "legal" sources, SP is now just a normal town. The Pasadena and Glen Burnie children of the 80s developed zip code envy (“son, one day you will make your father proud and purchase a landlocked rancher on B&A Blvd”) and have proven to the state that gentrification can actually work in reverse. Sure, lacrosse is still the official religion, but when was the last time SPHS was able to compete with Landon, Georgetown Prep, or any other high school that houses the sons of men who actually know how to manipulate the stock market? One undeniable trait: SP will always have the water. The Severn's plush waterways will never fail to dazzle, but that is only until you see the hordes of power boats (with the “Dena-bred-Dena-raised” bumper sticker messily scratched off the stern) parked in each driveway, which violate neighborhood restrictive covenants put in place by former residents who could afford to park their boats in marinas. Seeing the writing on the wall, “old-tyme” residents have fled their homes faster than Baltimore whites left Charm City in the 60s and moved on to greener pastures in the Carolinas and Lewes, DE. Sorry, Pasadena ex-pats: it appears your pre-determined fate as consistent under-achievers was sealed long ago when you donned that Pasadena Chargers football helmet. Maybe in 2 generations your progeny will finally be able to reach second-best.

You live in Severna Park? That's cool bro. What was it like growing up in Pasadena?

Oh your kids go to Severna Park Elementary too? Better start saving for college now. We just opened up a savings account at M&T and and call it the "Salisbury-or-bust fund."

by iSpeetHotFyre January 29, 2025