Jaws of Life

The process of spreading the anus out horizontally with both hands, fingers spread and wrist deep.

"She got trapped in the washing machine, so I gave her the Jaws of Life."

by salmon_eggs August 21, 2024

Cursed rip off life

This is when you are poor because you live in a city like Detroit Michigan the United States of America in present time where you can’t come up and get rich legitimately no matter what you do. Well if you was anywhere else like New York or California you would make it big and be the riches and most famous person ever. Maybe even president of the United States or King or be in the best movies or songs ever. And no way to move out or leave this city which was once promising back in the day in the 80s or so.

This cursed rip off life will be the end of me. Why I wasn’t born in Hollywood ? My dream of Japan. Where I shine like the brightest star

by Megasus Thirst Jesus Christ June 13, 2022

Shrek is love, Shrek is life

I👁️WAS ONLY🎂9 YEARS🎂OLD👵😍😍😍
I❤️LOVED❤️👹SHREK💚💚😳SO MUCH, I HAD👏👏ALL👏👏THE MERCHANDISE💰🤑AND🎬🎬MOVIES💚😱🙀😱😱
I PRAY🙏TO🥵SHREK🥵😀👍EVERY NIGHT😴🛏️🌙BEFORE BED🥱,THANKING💕HIM💕FOR THE👶LIFE🐣I’VE🥹BEEN🫘GIVEN😘💋💕😎
💚"😍SHREK🥰💚IS💕LOVE❤️❤️💋",I👀📣SAY🗣️,"😭😱SHREK🥵🥰IS🟰🛟LIFE🐣"👏👏👏💋
MY👴DAD👴HEARS👂ME🤔😬😱AND☎️CALLS📞ME😟🙂 ↕️🤔A🌈🌈FAGGOT🏳️ 🌈🏳️ 🌈😱😱
I KNEW🧠💀HE🫶WAS JUST🫣🥶JEALOUS🫥FOR🍀🍀🍀🍀🤗MY💕❤️LOVE❤️💕OF😎💕SHREK💕😘💚🥰🤩😭😎
👉I👈📢CALLED📞😡👴HIM🤬🤮A🍑CUNT👩😂😂🤣🤣😈
HE🤡✋SLAPS👏💥ME😭AND SENDS👉👉ME🫥💔TOGO🚶TO SLEEP🛏️🥱😓😱😬🥦🐫
I’M😭CRYING😢💦NOW📆,AND➕MY FACE🥺😭😵 💫HURTS😰😩🤬😡🪦💀
I🤓LAY🛏️IN🌕BED😴AND💔ITS🧊❄️🥶REALLY COLD❄️🥶🫥💩🟩
A💕🔥WARMTH😱❤️IS💘➡️MOVING➡️👉TOWARDS ME👈😱🤯😨🤯🥰
I🧑 🍼FEEL😑😘😱❤️SOMETHING💕🤯✋TOUCH🥹ME😍😍😍🙂 ↕️
ITS❤️🥰😍SHREK🥰🥵💚❤️💕😎💪😭😊🤩😈😈
✋I✋AM😃😅😁SO HAPPY😄😁😆😘❤️😎💚💚
💚💚HE💚💚🤐WHISPERS😏IN😅MY EAR👂🌽,“👉THIS👈IS☠️❤️MY SWAMP💕☠️”😂🤣🤣💕
HE😘😇👌GRIPS🤛😘🥹ME🥹WITH🥹💕🥰HIS💚😅🥵😎POWERFUL💪💪💪👹OGRE🟢🙌HANDS💚✋AND PUTS😍ME😌ON MY HANDS✋✋AND KNEES🧎🤗🥵😭😭😭
😇I’M🪽READY💪😍🥵🥵🥵💀🥹😬
I👁️⬅️SPREAD➡️MY😣🥵🍑✌️ASS🫏CHEEKS🍆🍑FOR💚😍😘SHREK🤪😱😬💕😨💚💚💚💚💚
💪😎HE💕💕🏹🍆PENETRATES🏹MY😫😖😫😖😫😖BUTTHOLE🍑🕳️😡😃🤪🥵😭😔😏💕
IT HURTS😫😵😪😱😱SO MUCH😱😱BUT🍑I🍆🍑DO IT🥰💕💕FOR😘😍💚SHREK💚😖🥵🤫🥴😃😃🥺
I🇨🇦CAN🥫🥹FEEL MY🥹🥰BUTT🍑😭TEARING🥵💕AS😿MY EYES👀START✨TO💧💧WATER😓😢🥵💚🥵🥰🥰
I PUSH➡️➡️💘AGAINST😱HIS😍FORCE💪💪🥵🥵😤😳
✌️I😬WANT😬TO PLEASE🥺💚🥺SHREK🥵😘👐😇😍💚💚💚
😌😇HE💚💕ROARS A😡😡💪MIGHTY ROAR🫨🤤AS💚HE😍💧FILLS💚MY🍑BUTT🍑WITH HIS💕💗LOVE💘🍆💕💘🥵🥰🥲
🥺MY👨DAD🤓🤡💀🤮WALKS🚶IN🤯🤐😡🤬😵
💕💘SHREK😻💋LOOKS👀🤢💀HIM🤬😠🤓➡️STRAIGHT➡️IN THE👀EYE👁️AND🗣️SAYS.👄"🙂ITS👏ALL👏👹OGRE💚🫡NOW🫥😱"😂🤣😱😱😱
💚🥵💕SHREK😇😍🥰💔LEAVES👋👋THROUGH🤫MY🥺🥺☹️WINDOW🪟👋🥺😞❤️❤️
💚😍SHREK🥰💚IS💕LOVE❤️❤️💋,😭😱SHREK🥵🥰IS🟰🛟LIFE🐣👏👏👏💋

Shrek is love, Shrek is life.

by Bbb23’s left testicle October 29, 2024

Life Epiphany

When an event or person causes one to make a realization of themselves, or their life style. One that they had not recognized previously. Causing them to make changes in their self evaluation, lifestyle choices, way of rationalizing, and choice of personal actions.

After his younger sister gave him a gift of condoms for Christmas, Joseph had a life epiphany, and began acting differently in his social life.

by NixTay June 17, 2019

Goddamn Life

When your life sucks so much you give it a pessimistic name

mark: i hate my goddamn life
akari: hi
mark: ooh
they fuck for 0100103290293094090e+.2232/323212=282902312338923333+33673626 hours
leo: wtf mark
mark: akari lets do anal again

by sir moron da great December 7, 2022

Get a life

begin leading a more fulfilling or fascinating life.

I know I watch a lot of reality TV, but hey, at least I'm entertained! Maybe you should find a hobby too, you know, get a life (of your own)!

by Arminkshipper July 4, 2024

Life Blowz

Life Blowz is a comedic webcomic drawn by Bobby Maher. It's about a character named Steve who likes to skateboard. He is also known for having some trouble with women. He has a best friend named Colin, who he usually goes to for advice. If you’ve ever been the social outcast, plagued by relationship troubles, and hexed with bad luck, you need to go see this comic.

Tim: Yo man, have you ever read THE WORLD'S MOST INCREDIBLE WEBCOMIC?

Joe: Oh you mean Life Blowz? Of coarse I have!

by callyabo July 30, 2010