Lance Ballinstrong at a bar- Ladies, I am five feet tall and I have only one kidney left ever since I left the bar one night with with this one girl. My coach calls me five foot nothing. If my team needs someone to dunk the ball, they pass it to me, since nobody expects me to be able to do it and I shock the other team every time.
by Solid Mantis January 13, 2021
Get the Lance Ballinstrongmug. 
-Hey, you're walking funny this morning.
-Yeah, me and my girl went so hard yesterday she gave me a Lance Armstrong...
-Ow...
-Yeah, me and my girl went so hard yesterday she gave me a Lance Armstrong...
-Ow...
by neobwa October 22, 2014
Get the Lance Armstrongmug. The brother of Logan Thirtyacre (creator of SML YouTube channel). He helps as a voice actor for Logan. Common characters he voices and plays are Jeffy, Jackie Chu, and Simmons.
by biman05 June 6, 2023
Get the Lance Thirtyacremug. by lairjohnjohn November 21, 2023
Get the Lancemug. Predator. Two pump wanna Bea pornstar. He will put G in your Jamba juice ask you if your hungry and want to get food then tell your wife how cock hungry you were on a 4.5 mile car ride that took over 2 hours (that you will have no recollection of other than everyone being mad that you came back with no food... & That he kept on apologizing for being a 2 pump, limp dick, creepy old man) ask around about Mr Fritz & You will hear some straight up R-3 shit! Check your timeline and it just may lead you to the street he took advantage of you on! I found cameras maybe you will too!
Lance, why couldn't you wait tell I was awake or coherent to fuck me? Lance I said NO! Lance makes sure your unable to say no!
by Nomeansnosirlancealot February 2, 2020
Get the Lancemug. 