Chuck Norris 

Right behind you!

Fag: WOW! i love wanking over world of warcraft!......wait..whats that smell... the smell of a musty, muscular,super-amazing,ginger,martial-artist? (turns around)..... OMG its Chuck Norris! dont hurt me im a N00b!

Chuck Norris by $p@cer54... May 18, 2009

Chuck Norris 

The most powerful man on earth.The only person that can rival him is god himself and Chuck still pwns him on a regular basis.

Jesus: I heard you got pwnt by Chuck Norris in Ping-Pong the other day God

God: I fucking hate him, he makes me seem like a noob everytime I see him

Chuck Norris by M.B Wavvy July 14, 2009

Chuck Norris 

To Be Chuck Norrisafied
To Get Pwnd
To Be Beat Down
To Be Set Aflame and Rolled Down a Mountainside

Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris by Music_God September 25, 2010

chuck norris 

The name of the toughest guy in Hollywood. Many references to Chuck Norris's toughness have been made. Some examples follow.

1) If you rearrange the letters in Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris will kill you.

2) Someone actually asked for Chuck Norris's autograph. He now has a permanent footprint carved into his forehead.

3) Chuck Norris doesn't bathe...Water asks permission to make contact with Chuck Norris's skin.

4) Chuck Norris doesn't grocery shop. Food comes to Chuck Norris in fear of Chuck Norris looking for food.

5) A man once said that Chuck Norris isn't that tough. Pieces of this man are still orbiting the Earth.

6) What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper soaked in the blood of the reporter who wrote a negative review about one of Chuck Norris's movies.

7) Three blind mice gave Chuck Norris a dirty look.....once.

8) Chuck Norris doesn't fight. Nobody's that stupid.

9) The four horsemen of the Apocalypse were hired after Chuck Norris quit

10) Chuck Norris was slated to star in "The Matrix" until the writers realized that the movie would then have only been a second or two long.

11) Chuck Norris doesn't give you the finger. He breaks all of yours.

12) If it looks like Chuck Norris might be late for something; time slows itself down.

13) Chuck Norris once got caught in the rain. This region of Earth is now known as the Sahara Desert. Rain will never fuck with Chuck Norris again.

14) A man once asked Chuck Norris to define his feminine qualities. This man has become the deepest human ever buried.

15) One day while Chuck Norris was salmon fishing with his bare hands he saw a huge Kodiak bear. The bear played dead.

chuck norris by thedude1963 April 20, 2013

CHUCK NORRIS 

Must be spelled with all capital letters in order to be correct, or you'll be roundhouse kicked through the fifth dimension.

While Jesus was the son of God, CHUCK NORRIS was the father of god.

Some facts include:

Jesus can walk on water, inpressive? CHUCK NORRIS can swim through earth.

CHUCK NORRIS is so straight, he never touched a single man in his life, whenever he gave a man a roundhouse kick, he was merely kicking the space in between his foot and his victim's face. (like in the movies, but all victims still died from massive head trauma.)

CHUCK NORRIS can divide by 0.

CHUCK NORRIS is watching...always.

CHUCK NORRIS's daily excercise routine includes wrestling bears, holding back airplanes with his bear hands, pushing trains, and lifting mountains with ease.

CHUCK NORRIS was born 10 March 1940, the Cold War ended 11 March 1940, just saying.

This concludes my definition of chuck norris. (A dimensional rift opens before me as the all mighty roundhouse kick of justice bends reality itself while almost making contact with my face. Don't forget to capitalize! )

CHUCK NORRIS by The Urban Dick January 21, 2011

Chuck Norris 

You cannot define Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is the Definition.

Chuck Norris won the Game

Chuck Norris by [insert platypus noise here] January 29, 2010

Chuck Norris 

Your worst nightmare. Period.

Chuck Norris is ga-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Chuck Norris by Chuck norris the god July 9, 2010