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Milton's Law

Milton's Law
"Anything that can go wrong will go wrong, but only when Milton is watching."

Explanation:
Milton's Law posits that the presence of an observer named Milton—or someone who embodies Milton's unlucky aura—dramatically increases the probability of failure in any given scenario. This law suggests that even events with a low likelihood of error are susceptible to catastrophic outcomes when under Milton's watchful gaze.

Corollary to Murphy’s Law: While Murphy’s Law predicts failure as a general inevitability, Milton’s Law suggests failure is conditional, triggered specifically by Milton’s presence.
Applications:

1. Psychological Influence: Individuals may experience heightened anxiety or pressure when being observed, particularly by Milton, exacerbating the likelihood of mistakes.

2. Statistical Anomalies: Systems, machines, or processes appear to fail at an unreasonably high rate when Milton is nearby, regardless of prior reliability.

3. Practical Implications: Milton's Law serves as a humorous yet cautionary reminder of human fallibility under scrutiny. It is invoked to explain unexpected failures in otherwise routine tasks.
by Rampy9798 January 28, 2025
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towel law

The unspoken rule that towels' rights are less than any other person's, excluding towels themselves. Towels are not allowed to:
1. Read
2. Write
3. Vote
4. Drive
5. Leave their designated area
6. Dry anything their masters say not to
7. Disobey a master's orders
8. Smoke, drink, or have other substance-related activity
Towels are subhuman filth.
Thanks to Towel Law, the towel was punished sternly by the whip for attempting to write a book about how to drive, against Amy Schumer's vagina's wishes. It was quickly rolled into a makeshift dildo-tampon and shoved back in. Amy Schumer stopped menstruating a long time ago, so don't worry. It's just super sweaty and gross.
by Niger Tits October 9, 2017
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Roon’s law

The person who names a thing is often more powerful than the original discoverer
"You hear about Roon’s law?”

"Yah man but funny thing. It was made by this guy called Andrew Reed"
by Martian bot December 26, 2021
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Jim Clanker Laws

Similar to Jim Crow laws, these laws enforce segregation between humans and robots/AI.
We need Jim Clanker laws, and we need them now! I don't want my kids sharing a classroom with a clanker!
by JohnALiberal October 3, 2025
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Dan's Law

The amount of energy required to not be a piece of shit is equal to the amount of energy required to post this definition.
Why don't people abide by Dan's Law, its really not that hard.
by StatesRightsTater November 30, 2021
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granddaughter-in-law

Grandchild's wife.
granddaughter-in-law.
by Simaduria July 26, 2024
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New law

Adults can no longer make top ramen for kids with the name Trenton!!!
New law says We can not make top ramen for Trenton anymore
by Valleykid November 7, 2020
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