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the jesus man

that scary guy that stnads round skipton tellin you that jesus loves u n forces u into taking a leaflet
scary guy: jesus loves u
me: does he!?!
scary guy: yes here take a leaflet
me: but uve already given me about 20
by emma101 April 10, 2005
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The Jesus Bump

Noun

1. Euphemism for awkward Christian sex.

2. Christian dry humping

3. Mormon anal sex

4. A dance move done by Christians in which they spread their arms out to the side to look like Jesus on the cross. Then with feet together hop to the beat of music with knees barely bending. Palms facing forward.

Verb

-ed, ing

The act of doing any of the above
Dude, that Mormon girl; she's totally down for the Jesus Bump.

Yea, man, she was so uptight. But she let me Jesus Bump that.

Man, that Baptist girl was a freak. We did the Jesus bump and soaking.
by Undercommons September 3, 2014
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The Jesus Christ

The act of drilling a hole; sized just under the girth of your cock, and fucking it whilst reciting Our Father, in an attempt to become closer to God.
Guy 1: What the hell happened to your hand?
Guy 2: I did the Jesus Christ to try and reach higher humanity, I really feel at peace.
Guy 1: Oh, say word.
by praisebetogodamen April 22, 2018
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The Jesus Wheel

The Jesus wheel a frase from the term "Jesus take the wheel". It is used in a bad situation where you call it out to be able to get threw your problem. It was also used in a song by Carrie Underwood.
Guy: "OMG WE ARE ABOUT TO DIE"
Other guy: "JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!"
Guy: " since we are in a bad situation we will use the Jesus Wheel!"
by Jo Ritter West September 23, 2017
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the jesus jizz

when you go on top of a tall building in times square with a lot of males and ejaculate off the building causing the jizz to spray down onto the tourists
by jizz creamery February 23, 2021
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the Jesus approach

Going into a text conversation on Omegle and talking about Jesus the whole time. Then you take a screenshot of it to show to your buddies. It's like the online version of planking.
Me: Dude I totally used the Jesus approach on this random from Omegle lastnight!

Friend: No way! Send me the screenshot!
by Swarley6969 August 20, 2011
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the jesus cross

It begins when one is laying on their back with arms extended to the left and right, mouth open and eyes closed immitating a Crucifix. It is then the role of another male to mount the human cross and fuck the open mouth rapidly.
Kenny gave Brandon the Jesus Cross for his birthday.
-or-
Brandon gave me the best jesus cross I've ever had.
by Ryan and Tony August 27, 2008
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