Quantus theory

The concept that it's much better to emigrate to Australia than live in a tired and rather shabby looking United Kingdom. The theory sounds great, but is complicated by the Drongo Uncertainty Principle, in which you either live in Australia but realise it's not as great as you thought it would be (which usually occurs when the deadly finger-web spider bites you on the funnel) OR you're in the UK, it's cold, wet, and dismal, and you've just been mugged for your mobile phone, and so you dream of an idyllic life in the sun playing with large friendly marsupials (known as 'Ozzies').

In the UK:
Gerald: 'That Johnny in the hooded top just beat me up and took my phone!'
Edward: 'Ahhhh! Playing with the Ozzies in the balmy climes of Australia would be so much better!'
Gerald: 'Ahhh! Quantus theory!'
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Simultaneously in Australia:
Tadger: 'Bollocks mate! I just got bit on the funnel by a finger-web spider!'
Johnno: 'No wucking furries mate, we'll move to England.'
Tadger: 'Rack off! That's just Quantus theory!'

by Pedrosa von Beagle September 10, 2008

Quantom Louis Theory

A theory composed by Louis L. , a Canisius High School student, that states that all blunt objects cut and that sharp objects crush. It also states that whan a sharp pinpiont pokes you, then it crushes, known as a "pin-point-crush"

(Quite possibly the most wrong theory stated... ever)

The Quantom Louis Theory states that the keyboard that you are typing on now could be used to cut yourself and the knives in your kitchen can crush your fingers.

by Buffalo Breaker Box June 1, 2009