Almond

noun
1. Acronym for "All-loving man or nearly dad".

2. An almond is a mom-friendly boyfriend or significant other who ticks most of the boxes for being "a lot like dad"

You really should meet Christoff, you'd like him he's such an almond.

by wordwrestler December 18, 2018

Almond Brain

A person with a tiny almond sized brain.

"Steve has an almond brain

by Bubbebybsb November 14, 2023

red almond

When you vice grip your testicles and pinch off a ball until its beat red

Jerry showed Kennif the Goat - as seen in the popular movie Waiting and got kicked in the ass, Kennif got him back with a Red Almond though

by Kennif September 16, 2017

California's Almonds

California's Almonds refers to a coping mechanism employed by individuals living outside the United States who aspire to experience the American Dream. By purchasing and consuming almonds—a product overwhelmingly sourced from California—they create a small, tangible connection to the USA, no matter their current location. It's a way to momentarily feel closer to the desired American lifestyle, one handful of probably-American-made nuts at a time.

Even though I'm stuck in Russia, I always keep a bag of California's Almonds in the pantry. It’s a small comfort, a little taste of the America I dream about

by eviscerated_elegy July 27, 2025

Burnt almonds

Unexplained

I smell the scent of burnt almonds

by Roberttoti December 8, 2017

roasting the almond

when you warm your lady loins while your roommate is out of the room

My roommate's spending the weekend with her boyfriend as a sex slave, so I'm going to be roasting the almond all weekend!

by nastychicken June 26, 2016

Super Almond Water

A more enhanced version of almond water, with more healing power.

Super Almond Water is found in the Backrooms.

by MaybeARealWord January 12, 2022