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never in my nine lives

“Never in my nine lives” bites off the whole cats have nine lives thing. It’s what you say when something’s so unbelievable, it’s like it never happened, not even once across all nine of your lives.
“Girl, you're crazy if you really think I’m buying that story. Never in my nine lives would I fall for that.
by Opiumbae September 9, 2025
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Eat my add

An insult used as a defense when one is simply terrible at fantasy football
How did you go 0-14 in Fantasy last year, did you just not try?

No, I tried every week.

Man, you must suck as fantasy football.

Eat my add…
by cuyahogablues August 30, 2023
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Fluffing my oats

When someone or something is getting you all agitated.
Republicans are really fluffing my oats these day's
by BigGCount February 23, 2017
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Fucking with my math

When someone tries to help you out with something you're doing, but all they're doing is making it harder. The term comes from parents and how the switch to common core math and algebra only made things more complicated and harder, when the intent was to help make it easier
guy 1: *is moving something heavy through a doorway*

guy 2: "let me help you with that" *grabs the thing and starts moving it around on their own and shit*

guy 1: "can you just stop? you're fucking with my math"
by CalypsoKobold July 16, 2024
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my sweet pretty baby

your gorgeous girl. the love of your life. the sweetest, prettiest girl you've seen. Shes the love of my life.
Chloe: youre my sweet pretty baby
Annabelle: only yours my love
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shitting my dick

by cowboygoldfish April 18, 2022
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J’n my D

A term for jacking off made famous by comedian Christina Pazsitzky on the Your Mom’s House podcast.
My girlfriend: would you like to have sex?

Me: not right now, but maybe later.

My girlfriend: why?

Me: I just got done J’n my D.
by Doitallnight March 4, 2024
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