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granola

a heterosexual white man that finishes after a singular stroke because of his built up testosterone from watching anime porn, usually named some basic shit like will or jackson
hook ups with frat boys are granola as fuck
by akhxloqnx July 10, 2022
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Noah Granola

One of the most mysterious aliases of the culprit and war criminal, 'Joe Willy'.
Noah Granola said he was going to build a Dyson sphere and blot out the sun, "You bitches need less light and my basement doesn't have enough space. I'm going to build I Dyson sphere once I kill the Russian president." to be specific. The number of people in his basement are unknown, and the location of his basement is also unknown. Noah Granola is a fucking bitch and burned down 3 native campsites in the past month.
Noah Granola is an insane egotistical maniac who wants to kill the Russian president.
Don't be a Noah Granola.
by Joe_Willy July 31, 2023
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Granola-bar

A granola-bar is used to make friendships with any and all C2s. Just make sure you keep bringing granola bars with you (as many as you can), and don't think that fruit-snacks can be used as a permanent substitute.
C2: Now, I brought you all here because you have been giving me fruit snacks instead of granola-bars.
Persons 5, 6 and 8: We thought that fruitsnacks were ok to be used.
C2: NO! Now, you better all have granola-bars
Persons 5, 6 and 8:
by THE REAL MAYO MAN April 14, 2021
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crunch granola

A term that best describes people that lack personal hygiene , are overly consumed with environmental conservation. A new era, 21st Century hippie.
Yo, babe, look, Ruth still refuses to shave any of her “hot spots” or legs all in the name of water conservation. PU!! Straight Crunch granola
by Woodbury 008 October 11, 2017
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Granola Crayola

A person who dresses like a camp counselor, lives in Denver, Colorado, or dresses suspiciously close to Dora the Explorer.
by sugarglider333 August 15, 2025
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granola smoker

Overly environmentally-conscious hippie. Usually with a beard. Tend to be liberals, or even communists if extreme.
Guy 1: Why is Jim's cupboard full of empty coke bottles?
Guy 2: He drinks out of those. He's a granola smoker
by Nygma February 4, 2015
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Granola girl

The girls that call themselves a « granola girl » aren’t granola girls. A granola girl is a girl who loves hiking, canoeing, camping, etc…
A pinterest/instagram girly isn’t a granola girl.
omg she is such a granola girl!
by girly12379763 December 5, 2024
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