The Divorcinator

Unlike a homewrecker, The Divorcinator is not our for sport, or pure hedonism, but justice. They are out to heal the sick and right the wrongs, acting on a kind of vendetta, often sourced from their own wounds, set-backs, and tragedies. An anti-hero, a black sheep, a Robin Hood, or a Jedi, The Divorcinator urges the helpless to "Use the Divorce!" recognizing that freedom from oppression, tyranny, and abuse could otherwise not be achieved. The Divorcinator is not an opportunist but a liberator. To be called "homewrecker" is a slight, when the "home" in question is a house of cards in which the victim(s) feel trapped. The Divorcinator relieves and frees those who fully acknowledge the destructive nature of the endeavor. Such a "home" is a sham of a structure housing nefarious purposes contrary the accord of marriage, this effecting like a cancer everything that it touches. Oddly enough and in contrast to a philander, for example, a divorcinator is prompted by a sense of justice, morality, empathy, and shared responsibility. They bring pleasure to the miserable, wisdom to the occluded, and fortitude to the weary. A modern day folk hero cast as a kind of Cosmic Cowboy or a "man in black", they ride into town, defeat the bad guys, set the women and children free, then ride off into the sunset. It is a treacherous, dangerous, and tragic role, but a heroic one. It is a role that is not chosen but foisted upon them; it is chosen for them.

"My best friend was so sad and miserable in her marriage, I had to call in The Divorcinator! She could do so much better and now she's finally happy and free."

by Daveaflav October 8, 2023

The Sexiest Devotchka

A fantastically tall DANISH IRISH high-jumper from "Da Mesa" in Santa Barbara, California. While many believe she's a barely-legal dead-sexy blonde, the fact of the matter is she's not legal at all! Note that this does not stop the amazingly high Crunkage rates, including (but not limited to):

1. Vanilla Rum in Las Vegas, NV
2. Multiple Screwdrivers in Las Vegas, NV
3. "Kelli's Jungle Punch" in Ventura, CA
4. Braaaaaandizzle's "What the fuck happened last night" drink and smokefest in Oak View, California

Few can control her, with the exception of Negro Police on bicycles and Nutella Salesmen (Not to mention her old-bald-guy fetish king, The Bruce.)

Has been known (at times) to have construction workers incarcerated at her leisure.

Often found near the "Straight Neeg" Nathalie (Follow the scent of Marijuana)

You'd hit it. Oh yes, You'd Hit It.

Hey, did you hear about The Sexiest Devotchka's lame friend who drank 1/10th of Vodka? Haha what a pussy!

by highmeh March 28, 2005

The Sexiest Devotchka

6 foot tall, badass motherfucker, don't mess with this bitch or you'll get the horns.
Background: Danish, Swedish, German, Irish

This bitch will fully own you if you act awry.

Aliases:
Kel
Kelli
Long Dong Kong
Woozass
The Tall Hot Blonde
Badass Motherfucker
Dontonson

Loyal to the end, if you cross her...you better watch your back, she'll rampage


Happy to be:
Your friend
Your bartender
Your body guard
Your mentor
Your sidekick
Your lapdog
Your most loyal of deciples

Dude did you see that chick?! She fully went Sexiest Devotchka on that idiot's
ass!!

by blah March 30, 2005

the leading cause of divorce in america

HALO.

Lauren - "so tell me your thoughts on this game, halo."
Tanner - "Halo = the leading cause of divorce in America."

by laurendino June 30, 2008