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Uncle willie

A mainly Scottish originating term referring to one's penis.
E.g. Eric Clapton song "hand jive" the lyrics "doing the hand jive with uncle willie" meaning that the individual described was indulging in masturbation.
by Kingcobrakenny October 27, 2017
mugGet the Uncle williemug.

secret uncle

Your own personal uncle that is secret to the rest of the world.
Mikalah: I swear i have a secret uncle.
Madi: I don’t believe you, show me.
mikalah: I can’t it’s a secret!
by Jeeoh July 26, 2021
mugGet the secret unclemug.

Uncle Precious

A badass uncle who doesn't a shit about what others think! He's always welcoming and hospitable. On friday nights especially, he'll invite you to his house (which he cutely calls his lair) for fifa. Once you enter, you'll begin to notice, there is no TV. As a matter face, there is no furniture. Cum stains litter the walls.

"Wait what!" you'll scream,
"Cmon you know you love it" he'll respond.
He then shoves you into its scrotum where it smells like fish and the flesh hugs you from all sides.

Defined by his parents, Uncle Precious is a family sweetheart. When he was younger though, he went a horny rebellious teen phase. They would be eating dinner, when the whole house would begin to smell like fish. Yet the scent would grow stronger and stronger. Uncle Precious would come closer and closer. Hornier and hornier.
"What the shit Precious! It smells like fish!"
"Cmon you know you love it!" he would respond
"HE LOOKS HORNY!!!" My mother would cry, noting the massive bump in his pants.

"On the count of 3, 1... 2... RUN!!!" My grandmother shout.
Uncle precious would then run around the house terrifying the family members while stroking his member, his dick wagging in front of him like a happy dog.

Then, something snapped inside my grandfather. He pulled out the 16mm thumbtack from his front pocket. And pinned his scrotum to all corners of the house. He never misbehaved, ever again. Until, his sister had children.
"Please be gentle this time Uncle Precious, last time your rough scrotum really hurt me!"
"Cmon Uncle, do I really have to take Viagra the third time this day, I'm already bricked as hell!"
"UNCLE PRECIOUS: I'M GOING SOFT,!!!! I NEED MY VIAGRA!!!! I CANT BE SOFT EVER AGAIN!!!!!"
by UnclePrecious December 27, 2023
mugGet the Uncle Preciousmug.

Uncle Fester

A male senior, commonly named Tim, who looks like a shaved sack.

Behaviors may include bending over for his big daddy, acting like a bitch when he does not get attention from his big daddy, being a buzzkill, requesting to be designated driver for his big daddy, and getting jealous when others give his big daddy attention.
That crazy guy Tim is such an Uncle Fester.
by UncleFesterLove July 5, 2024
mugGet the Uncle Festermug.

Uncle Samsonite

A man, typically overweight who gets the satisfaction of twerking infront of minors
There is no example, theres just Uncle Samsonite.
by SuperNigger2145 October 2, 2024
mugGet the Uncle Samsonitemug.

Uncle Fester

Uncle Fester is Kaisa's alter ego, emerging particularly when she has inhaled or is under the influence. This endearing alter ego is characterized by a charming disposition, often accompanied by facial redness and sometimes even dark under the eyes if she had mascara on for the evening.
"Uncle Fester makes a grand entrance when Kaisa's had a date with her favorite bottle of laughter-inducing spirits, leaving behind a trail of giggles and maybe a misplaced shoe or two."
by Attentionwhorenumber1 January 4, 2024
mugGet the Uncle Festermug.

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