The most low key addictive substance on the planet. Coffee ruins lives worldwide but everybody scared to talk about it out of fear that the starbucks mermaid will pop outta your toilet and strangle you but guess what....Im into that sort of thing so bring it on starbucks. Our homeless crisis, drug epidemic, and rising divorce rates are all caused by coffee.
1) Coffee WAS affordable, that is, until starbucks came along and started charging $10 for a coffee. Now with Bidens inflation its probably $12. This is the oldest trick in the book, get people hooked on a cheap drug and then jack up the price. This is why everyone is homeless now, they blew all their money on starbucks.
2) This drug epidemic is only happening because starbucks is too expensive and we're all desperately looking for cheaper alternatives which take the form of crack, cocaine, meth, adderall, ect. These drugs were invented as a replacement for coffee, look it up!
3) Couples are divorcing because they get amped up on "the juice" and start fighting over what the best brand or some shit and before they know it theyre swinging on eachother. Baristas need to be held accountable for how many shots they give a person. After coming down off that shit when theyre flat broke in the gutter the only option left is divorce.
These are the people asking you for spare change at the store. They go to a local coffee shop and take straight shots. Sad but true reality. Coffee is the most dangerous substance on the planet
1) Coffee WAS affordable, that is, until starbucks came along and started charging $10 for a coffee. Now with Bidens inflation its probably $12. This is the oldest trick in the book, get people hooked on a cheap drug and then jack up the price. This is why everyone is homeless now, they blew all their money on starbucks.
2) This drug epidemic is only happening because starbucks is too expensive and we're all desperately looking for cheaper alternatives which take the form of crack, cocaine, meth, adderall, ect. These drugs were invented as a replacement for coffee, look it up!
3) Couples are divorcing because they get amped up on "the juice" and start fighting over what the best brand or some shit and before they know it theyre swinging on eachother. Baristas need to be held accountable for how many shots they give a person. After coming down off that shit when theyre flat broke in the gutter the only option left is divorce.
These are the people asking you for spare change at the store. They go to a local coffee shop and take straight shots. Sad but true reality. Coffee is the most dangerous substance on the planet
by anonymous February 17, 2024
Get the Coffee mug.Why would you do this?
Addison: What's wrong with Trevor?
Felicia: He had Coffee mixed with Red Bull, Monster Energy and Five Hour Energy.
Addison: Why did he do that?
Felicia: Because he's a moron.
Addison: He is indeed a moron.
Felicia: As are some of his friends, especially Leila.
Felicia: He had Coffee mixed with Red Bull, Monster Energy and Five Hour Energy.
Addison: Why did he do that?
Felicia: Because he's a moron.
Addison: He is indeed a moron.
Felicia: As are some of his friends, especially Leila.
by PhoenixGamer34 June 28, 2025
Get the Coffee mixed with Red Bull, Monster Energy and Five Hour Energy mug.A euphemism used by office workers when going to the pub to grab a pint (typically beer). Whilst drinking at work may be frowned upon, grabbing coffee with your fellow colleagues is widely socially acceptable. Hence English Coffee.
"English" can also be commonly replaced with "Russian" or "Irish", though these are considered less subtle (as drinking culture is a big staple there) and may blow one's cover.
"English" can also be commonly replaced with "Russian" or "Irish", though these are considered less subtle (as drinking culture is a big staple there) and may blow one's cover.
by salary man December 14, 2023
Get the english coffee mug."Yo Andrew, did you see that wacky white girl at that coffee shop?"
"Yeah homie, she experienced a bit of a coffee shop spillage up in there."
"Yeah homie, she experienced a bit of a coffee shop spillage up in there."
by Arikorv August 12, 2020
Get the Coffee Shop Spillage mug.Don't talk to me until I had my fucking coffee.
If you spill my fucking coffee I'm going to kill you.
If you spill my fucking coffee I'm going to kill you.
by YOUЯ ЯEAL NAME August 6, 2025
Get the My Fucking Coffee mug.An alternative version of the infamous "ookie cookie", bored bi-curious males take turns jacking off into a cup of coffee. The last guy to add his cream has to drink the whole thing. No sugar. No Coffee Mate. Straight up.
by unkemptfunbags May 5, 2016
Get the jacky coffee mug.Don't drink coffee on a wedding day! You know what they say, spill the coffee and it gets on the brides dress
Hey Phoebe are you drinking coffee right now? We have a wedding to go to! You know what they say - don't drink coffee on a wedding day. Spill the coffee and it gets on the brides dress!
by Em-ma July 15, 2023
Get the Coffee on a wedding day mug.