masturbation

''Sometimes, uh, people are unable to find other people to partake in certain activities with, in which they will partake in those activities on their own. That, that is the definition-

(H: no it's really not.)

That is KIND OF the definition of masturbation. Ummm and that is all I'm willing to say''

Max (and Harvey) to Tilly in 13 again podcast

''It looks like you're masturbating.'' was said to Tilly. ''What is masturbation?'' clueless Tilly asked.

by hereforthefunsies January 3, 2025

must masturbate may

something that does not exist like your dad

Joe "When is must masturbate may?"
Jeff "When your dad comes back."
Joe cries

by IDK BUT YOUR MUM IS GAY November 21, 2022

The Fisher Masturbator

An Urban Legend from colonial Southbend, Indiana about a Fisher man attending Fisher Town Hall meetings and parlor events to masturbate in public spaces. The townspeople banished him for ejaculating in the town’s lake. Legend has it, it you look too deeply into St. Joe’s river, the Fisher man stares back.

Frank: Do you that Greek story about that dude that fell in a lake or something?
Fred: Yeah, The Fisher Masturbator?

by L*na August 2, 2022

masturbating

The act of sexually pleasuring yourself.

Robert loved masturbating. Every day after school, he would go in his room, lock the door, and go on Jerkmate. He would pull down his pants and underpants and click on the perfect stream. When he saw the girl rub the dildo on her massive tits, he started masturbating his dick. Then when she got to shoving the dildo up her asshole, Robert would start masturbating even faster. At this point, his dick was covered in precum. Now, the girl was shoving the dildo up her pussy. Robert was masturbating even harder, his hands getting tired, but he still perservered. He felt the cum getting to the head. Finally, Robert let a big moan as he cummed all over under the desk. Robert felt like he could jizz one more time, so he continued beating his meat as he clicked on another live stream. Robert, being the gooner that he is, ejactulated again, this time not white, but a pinkish-red color. He was horrified. He then died after peeing all of his blood out.

by MyCockIsBigAndBlack October 5, 2025

masturbating

when you beat the absolute living shit outta your meat package, that a liquid located inside of your ballsack called "semen", "cum", or "jizz" will rapidly start squirting and shooting out of your penis hole at 1000 miles an hour.

but if unleashing the hot sticky jizz from your fat, thick, juicy, and erect cock into the pussy/vagina of your female partner, it will result in the female becoming pregnant and having children.

also could be considered something that you do on a daily basis since you have no girlfriend to stick your cock inside of.

(masturbating)
guy: OMAGASH im boutta unleash my sticky hot jizz all over my bathroom walls from the excessive masturbation that i have currently done

(couple)
guy: im boutta jizz all over your face, bitch!
girl: oh yes daddy uwu

by Hypurrelet August 14, 2023

masturbation professor

The very essence of UBC Computer Science professors. Unfortunately this disorder passes onto its top students as well.

You need to pay each of the masturbation professors a total whopping sum of 1 million dollars per course per term as they masturbate on both the male and female instagram profiles of their students and talk incoherently in lectures just to pass time and disorient their prey.

by MatrixEnergeticWar September 10, 2023

<.04.45.2025.>Masturbating Like A Degenerate<.04.45.2025.>

<.04.45.2025.>Masturbating Like A Degenerate<.04.45.2025.>

<.04.45.2025.>Masturbating Like A Degenerate<.04.45.2025.>

by Angel234IsTheDarkSeraphim April 25, 2025