The ''Valentinus bigpenus'' usually just called Valentin was discovered and researched on by a random old scientist. They are a member of the Hominina tribe (or human tribe), a branch of the tribe Hominini belonging to the family of great apes.
The first Valentin was discovered in a cave in 69 BC. The latest fossils were found in a cave next to a computer of a fat guy. The Valentin caves usually held lots of female human skeletons with their genitalia parts cracked. Scientists said that those skeletons were once beautiful human women, until the Valentins lured them into his cave. Scientists say that they lure other females in with their enormous penises.
The remains of 99% of the skeletons were usually paralyzed from the neck down. The Valentin specie is near extinction with only 6 and a half alive. They reproduce with humans and sometimes asexually by using binary fission (basically cloning). But they prefer to reproduce sexually. The Valentins reproduce sexually with women only because they are a very straight specie. They are characterized with their large penises, their height, black hair and chiseled abs. They are practically immortal as the oldest one is 6 billion years old. They have many things about them that includes the attributes of omniscience (infinite knowledge), omnipotence (unlimited power), omnipresence (present everywhere), divine simplicity, and as having an eternal and necessary existence.
The first Valentin was discovered in a cave in 69 BC. The latest fossils were found in a cave next to a computer of a fat guy. The Valentin caves usually held lots of female human skeletons with their genitalia parts cracked. Scientists said that those skeletons were once beautiful human women, until the Valentins lured them into his cave. Scientists say that they lure other females in with their enormous penises.
The remains of 99% of the skeletons were usually paralyzed from the neck down. The Valentin specie is near extinction with only 6 and a half alive. They reproduce with humans and sometimes asexually by using binary fission (basically cloning). But they prefer to reproduce sexually. The Valentins reproduce sexually with women only because they are a very straight specie. They are characterized with their large penises, their height, black hair and chiseled abs. They are practically immortal as the oldest one is 6 billion years old. They have many things about them that includes the attributes of omniscience (infinite knowledge), omnipotence (unlimited power), omnipresence (present everywhere), divine simplicity, and as having an eternal and necessary existence.
Person 1: Hey, I saw valentin watching me in the shower today. He was flying his horse then he saw me and blessed me with this dildo
Person 2: Valentins dont exist what are you talking abou-
:Valentin erases person 2 from existence:
Person 1: He deserved it anyways..
Person 2: Valentins dont exist what are you talking abou-
:Valentin erases person 2 from existence:
Person 1: He deserved it anyways..
by Minecraft4lyf January 28, 2017
Get the Valentin mug.1: A marketing ploy designed to create the expectation between couples that they will buy useless, overpriced "gifts" for one another that will be quickly forgotten the day afterward.
2: A cruel, vicious holiday designed to mock single people and remind them of just how lonely they are.
2: A cruel, vicious holiday designed to mock single people and remind them of just how lonely they are.
1: My girlfriend got pissed 'cuz I didn't get her some shit for Valentine's Day.
2: Valentines Day makes me want to crawl in a hole and die.
2: Valentines Day makes me want to crawl in a hole and die.
by Gazuga April 22, 2004
Get the Valentine's Day mug.Alex: Hey Miranda, I know things are rough, but do you wanna hang out Valentines day?
Miranda: I would love to, but I'm seeing so many other guys on Valentines day!
Alex: Ouch, Valentines Slut.
Miranda: I would love to, but I'm seeing so many other guys on Valentines day!
Alex: Ouch, Valentines Slut.
by Fap2life February 26, 2011
Get the Valentines Slut mug.Valentina is so fucking beautiful. Her smile will lighten up ur day,she's a simp over this guy named chase. Valentina is the hottest girl in school, all the boys in school are always staring at her but she never notices them. She can be very sweet and nice at times but if you piss her off she will snap at you. Most people don't know this but Valentina can be very romantic at times, but will only show it around a person she really likes. Valentina is mostly around the guy's group cuz she has more things in common with them,but at times she will be with the girls. Valentina is very athletic and strong.
If you ever have a girl like Valentina than I suggest you hold on to her cuz she will hold on to you.
by Dumb_For_Love September 14, 2020
Get the Valentina mug.Someone you like but have not yet done anything about it yet. Valentine's Day is the perfect day to take it to the next level and spoil them maybe even take them out.
You're my Valentine.
by Keon roucinwj October 6, 2016
Get the my valentine mug.Commercialistic bullshit holiday invented by corporations to cash in on pussy-whipped men. Tries to create the image of love and when the day is really about money, greed and materialistic objects. It also makes single people feel miserable. Suicide rates are known to go up during this time of year.
"Hallmark and Fannie May all cash in on Valentines Day while making single people feel miserable in the process."
by DJHill February 14, 2004
Get the valentine's day mug.When Valentine's Day comes after Friday the 13th, which occurs approximately every 6.7 years, those who fall in love, are blessed by the angels. According to astronomical data, the average person experiences this phenomenon 13 times during their life cycle. This is known as "Valentines 13."
February, Friday the 13th 2009: At the stroke of midnight, Valentine's Day will touch Friday the 13th. This is how the term "Valentines 13" came to be.
by I love the Number 13 January 1, 2009
Get the Valentines 13 mug.