Smarmy Guy

Latin Name: Homo Smarmus

Typically found inhabiting Eastern North America, the Homo Smarmus is a rare and distinct individual.

They tend to favor indoor habitats where microwavable meals, XBox, and online chatrooms denouncing the intelligence of others are near at hand.

Physical Appearance: A material covering with a striped pattern (Scientists currently studying Homo Smarmus are developing a theory which states that this might be some form of tribal garb) usually coloured green and poo-brown is essential. The left forelimb is permanently extended upwards, and shoulders hunched.

A unique grunt is the natural call of the Homo Smarmus. One might liken it to a cough, when broken down it sounds like "Ahhh-hack-hack-hack-hack-ughhh". However, while it is found loud and irritating to those near to the Homo Smarmus, it does not travel well, making it difficult for one Homo Smarmus to warn others about the presence of someone who has a low bullshit tolerance.

Those who have studied this species closely advise others to keep their distance as there may be longterm side effects which could potentially lead to:
sensitivity of eyes to light
stunting of growth (in children)
swelling of feet or lower legs
vomiting
headache
muscle cramps
hallucinations
mental depression
mood swings
skin rash or hives
hiccups
wounds that will not heal
increased sweating
indigestion

Please also note that these side effects are similar to those of IBD.
Student: "Oh no! Smarmy Guy is in this class, I can already feel the bile rising up in my throat and the indigestion kicking in!"

Smarmy Guy: "Ahhh-hack-hack-hack-hack-ughhhh"
by S_Fiction November 10, 2010
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Family Guy

Hands down, the greatest animated show of all time, and the funniest show on television for over 22 years

It centers around the griffins. Consisting of the crazy but loveable father Peter, the caring but frisky mother Lois, Man's best friend Brian, Flamboyant baby genius Stewie, The black sheep teenage girl Meg, And the hormonal son with a big heart Chris.

If you ever want to laugh, watch this show. It will cheer you up on your hardest of days and will forever be iconic and hilarious
Family Guy is fantastic
by mynameizz February 25, 2021
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Guy code

The honor and respect all guys should show to their friends. Even if they are only slightly friends with this guy. You can never talk to, hang out with or do anything nice for my girl unless it is first approved by me. Never rub another man's rhubarb! Furthermore, you cannot change your relationship with her if we ever break up. Ending the friendship along with castration is the prefered punishment for breaking any of these rules.
"You let her sleep over at your house last night? I don't give a fuck if nothing happened man, you broke the guy code."
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tough guy

a punk bitch who thinks he is better than me and needs a good kickin
you gonna hurt me didn't fuckin think so tough guy
by crankymuppet January 18, 2020
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friend guy

Guy who, despite his best efforts, will never be more than a friend to any girl he meets. Usually ends up with a lot of friendgirls, and if numerous enough, could be considered a friend (definition #7).
Sarah just gave me the "friend guy" speech. Why does this always happen?!
by eversoemo September 20, 2004
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Valy Guys

Valy guys are Afghan guidos that we see dance at weddings constantly, nonstop, a lot. They are not in the homeland, they are found in america, canada, germany etc.... They are either born here or just came just because. These guys have fohawks, white panic at the disco pointy shoes, all black suits/ silky vests but sometimes they wear different colors like baby blue and shit (not the color shit). They put on too much cologne and gel. They dance like hustlers and drug dealers and people who are confused. They usually arrive to weddings in groups of 3 or more valy guys, occasionally a valy father figure next to them. They are never sitting down cuz they are dancing like hell. Put on a valy cd and they are bound to show up and dance the whole time. They don't get taller than 6'0 and are really tan. They dance with their group of other valy guys to show off their moves and skills. They dance good btw so dont try to beat them in a dance off battle cuz u will surely lose to their superior "goodness"
Valy, Milad Yusefi, and other borderline gay popstars are considered examples of "Valy Guys"
by mashalsaminehomah February 17, 2009
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jealous guy

Jealous guy was a song written by John Lennon, in it he is singing about his regret of leaving Yoko Ono for his first wife.
He made the song as a means of reconciliation with Yoko.

Quite possibly one of the best songs ever made by man.
"I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm sorry that I made you cry, I didn't want to hurt you....I'm just a jealous guy.
by Charleiekingstonman August 22, 2007
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