The act, first demonstrated by colonists arriving in 1620 to the New England region, involved the stuffing of the pulp and seeds, found in pumpkins, into both the
vaginal canal and rectum of women to block evil spirits thought to attack a woman's womb, beginning
on the night of
October 28th.
After a fortnight, children were assigned to a woman of the village and would slowly begin to remove bits of the pulp and seeds, little by little, from both her rectum and
vaginal canal. Upon the child removing all of the pumpkin pulp from both cavities, which was a rather tedious, but, overall, engaging event for the whole onlooking village, they'd yell out the emphatic line in their triumph.
'Thou holes may be foul and rich in ferment, but no evil spirit shall have my newly claimed festive bit of nourishment! Whether sweet or sour, if it takes me more than an hour, no seeds there shall be, as you can now see, two gaping holes abound, we can now share in glee, feast we will on the plunder, evil spirits have met their thunder.'
So, 'doing the pumpkins' referred to a lovely gathering and seasonal time of fellowship, the first known reference of a DP, a rather ironic deviance from traditional Puritan
values of chastity, loyalty, and resisting temptations of the flesh, as well as the embracing of food fetishes and butt play.
In one month's time, we will be once again 'doing the pumpkins' and having such a joyous time together as we ban the evil spirits with each little pulp string and seed we find, no matter how deep or rank. Autumn is here!
When I'm doing my pumpkins, I wonder if it's the lady Catherine Hawthorne that I'll get to
double stuff. She won the
Scarlet Number pageant this year. I heard that her parts will make a pumpkin meal especially putrid and easy to remove. What is gone in longer searching, becomes a rich,
liquid gold, with the aroma of stale muskox urine.
