crack report

n.: a newspaper or similar medium, rolled tight and fashionably stuffed in the rear between the pant waist and the undershorts of a middle aged man. Crack reports can be found anywhere, but are most common at race tracks, betting venues, ball games, and other sporting events. Most reports, but not all, contain various residue, leftovers and miscellaneous bacteria that is considered unsanitary by the local health department.

"Charlie! Don't pick up that crack report! You don't know what asshole has been reading that..."

by Dr. Josephus February 28, 2009

Crackerport

A Newport Menthol Green pack cigarette slang term.

The individual went down to the corner store and bought themselves a pack of Crackerport's before they ran out.

by Hateraide tastes good. Mmmmmm. June 9, 2017