Flat Earth Syndrome

A disease many motorists using the Belt Parkway in Brooklyn and Queens, exhibit, affecting everyone around them. Many people who are afflicted with Flat Earth Syndrome may not know they are infected. It is the cause of most traffic delays and accidents on this Road way. Flat earth syndrome bears its ugly face predominately on the Belt Parkway. A person affected by flat earth syndrome will begin to slow his or her vehicle as he or she approaches an overpass. The deceleration of the vehicle to ridiculously low speeds continues til one reaches a point on the overpass (the highest point on the overpass) that permits one to see the roadway continues and that the individual motorist is not going to fall off the face of the Earth, acceleration is than engaged but the effects of this bout is felt by motorists behind and sometimes can become contagious. This disease masks its self as "a cautious motorist" but it is just the effect of an insidious illness that affects thousands. This disease is unfortunately more acutely felt on the Belt Parkway due to the large number of overpasses, bridges, and inclines.

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by Fish-on-the-hill June 8, 2011

Flat Earth Derangement Syndrome

A rare condition where someone becomes so committed to arguing that the Earth is flat, they start treating gravity like a conspiracy and globes like forbidden artifacts.

Symptoms include:

Calling airplanes “government magic” ✈️✨
Believing Antarctica is just a giant ice wall guarded by penguin security 🐧🚧
Getting emotionally triggered by maps that curve 🗺️😤
Saying “do your own research” while linking a 17-minute video filmed in a backyard

Example:
“Kal tried to measure the horizon with a level from Home Depot… he’s got a serious case of Flat Earth Derangement Syndrome.”

Side effects:
May cause excessive YouTube binges, distrust of astronauts, and yelling “WAKE UP” at random family dinners.

by Jackssa April 4, 2026