Skip to main content

as useful as a fly screen on a submarine 

This saying was conceived by Bob and his buddy Mel while on a cycle ride to Portsmouth Dock Yard via Gosport in the Summer of 1963. They passed by a naval shipyard and noticed a beached and apparently discarded mini (aka: one-person) submarine in the assembly yard. The yard gate was open, so the guys checked out the sub and noticed that it had an open hatch upon which had been placed a fly screen (of the household variety), beggaring the question: "what is as useful as a fly screen on a submarine"??? Ironically, someone had punched a hole through the screen through which a horde of wasps had flown in through the hatch and nested. The thought came to mind of how annoying it would be - after closing up the submarine - to have the wasps buzzing around inside the sub...

Following immigration to Canada in 1975, one of the guys adjusted the saying to: "as useful as a screen door on a submarine" to accommodate Vancouver Island / BC / Canada / North America vernacular (which didn't recognize the term "fly screen").
the act of a Central Bank 'printing' fiat money, ie: quantitative easing, in an attempt to curb inflation is "as useful as a fly screen on a submarine"
as useful as a fly screen on a submarine mug front
Get the as useful as a fly screen on a submarine mug.
See more merch

Screen Door On A Battleship 

the wrong way that biff tannen from back to the future says it, the right way is a screen door on a submarine
Biff Tannen: That's about as funny as a screen door on a battleship

Marty Mcfly: It's screen door on a submarine you dork

screen door on a submarine 

1. Useless, worthless

2. To cause someone to lose hope; To disapoint; Burst your bubble
1. I don't think she should be on our team. She's a screen door on a submarine.

2. (From the Venture Bros.)
Hank: Aww come on, let me at 'em, Brock! I probably know Judo! How many of those guys can make the same boast?!
Brock: No.
Hank: Why must you be the screen door on my submarine, Brock?