Similar to a Brain Ninja, a Brain Pirate stays in someone's mind much longer, usually pillaging and taking over that person's thoughts. This can be used to describe women that you sometimes can't stop thinking about.
Mike: Dude, I can't stop thinking about Ashley.
Steve: Why? You like her?
Mike: I'm Freakin' in LOVE with her.
Steve: I don't blame you, that Ashley can be a HUGE Brain Pirate sometimes...
More commonly known as "high-beams" or "brights" headlights on a vehicle, they were originally invented to give drivers better visibility while driving at night. On the contrary, they gain the nickname "lonely lights" due to the fact that when one flips them on at night, 90% of the time, a vehicle will immediately appear coming the opposite direction, (forcing you to turn them right back off,) thus not making you so lonely anymore.
Steve tried over and over in the rain to turn on his lonely lights to see better, but time after time, people just kept appearing on the road and his efforts were in vain.